Saint Anselm College in Manchester, New Hampshire held a fringe candidate's debate on Monday. It gave a forum to the lesser-known candidates, both Democratic and Republican, who had filed with the New Hampshire Secretary of State's office to compete in the 2012 presidential primary. The account of the debate, posted at the Concord Monitor, is well worth reading purely for entertainment value. (Has anyone ever told you that "thorium" could be the key to ending America's dependency on foreign oil? Bob Greene thinks so.)
Among the candidates appearing was Randall Terry, whose Operation Rescue has become infamous for harassing abortion services clinics. Terry used his time to explain the top of his presidential priority list would be ending abortion and gay marriage.
"We will never restore the greatness of this nation as long as we are killing our own offspring," he said. And states' rights don't apply.
"The founders gave us the Tenth Amendment to prevent the federal government from micromanaging the vast majority of details that would affect us as a country. However, they never could have conceived of a moment in which we would become so debauched that we would elevate homosexual marriage or civil unions to the level of marriage," Terry, who is running as a Democrat, said.
"There's some things that are fundamentally evil, like slavery and there is no state right to hold another human being, there is no state right to kill your offspring, there is no state right to have homosexual marriage," he said.
One of the more colorful characters to appear goes by the name Vermin Supreme.
Supreme, 62, of Rockport, Mass., has made a name for himself since 2004 running on a platform of giving a pony to every American and mandatory oral hygiene - "strong teeth for a strong America." Even in a crowded room, he's hard to miss, wearing a black rubber boot on his head. But one of Supreme's most distinctive accessories - a Hulk fist over his crotch - was nowhere to be seen last night. He said he wanted to show some decorum at the college.
His decorum broke as the debate wrapped up and he declared, "Oh, one more thing, Jesus told me to turn Randy Terry gay."
He then proceeded to sprinkle Terry with glitter, as he yelled, "He's turning gay, he's turning gay, whoooooo!" The video shows Supreme's impressive two-handed glitter technique.
Well done, Mr. Supreme. Please, tell me more about your "pony for every American plan." I'm listening...