I need to kill five minutes. Call it Paul Ryan theater.
SCENE XXXIV
Luke Skywalker: We are going to need many men, exactly one million warriors, to have a chance against the Empire.
Lando Paulrynian: Understood. Just give me your payments over the next year, in the form of weekly contributions.
Luke Skywalker: Alright, Lando. I will see you at that time.
ONE YEAR LATER
Lando: Welcome back, Luke!
Luke: Where are my men? I only see you here.
Lando: Oh, well, that's because I'm just doing this in a different fashion. See, here's 15 million Galactic Credits Credits.
Lando hands Luke the coupon
Luke: This was not our agreement!
Lando: Hey, don't worry. Just shop around and let the market work, I'm sure you'll find what you need.
Luke: You said you would provide these men to me!
Lando: I did! The coupon is right there! We're good. We're good.
Luke: We are not good. Also, 15 million Galactic Credits can get maybe 500,000 men, at best. This is no-
Lando: Did you not hear the shop around thing?
Luke: This is ridiculous! I paid into your program under the impression of you giving me the men that I require! You've completely gone back on our agreeme-
Lando: Woah woah, Luke. Let's not go crazy here. Here, read this.
HEADLINE: "Paulrynian Not Fundamentally Altering Warrior Agreement - PolitiFact"
Luke: This is complete bullshit.
Lando: Don't act like that, Luke! In these trying times, we need to focus on working together.