Dogboy: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Mr. Dan: Republicans perfected their rhetorical joust.
Dogboy: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
Mr. Dan: In hopes that Saint Newt, soon would be there.
Dogboy: The children were nestled, all snug in their beds,
Mr. Dan: While visions of child labor danced in their heads.
Dogboy: And Dan in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Mr. Dan: Beginning the end of Obama's claptrap!
Dogboy: When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
Mr. Dan: Republicans all, which one doesn't matter!
Dogboy: But- but, don't you want leaders who won't get us lost?
Mr. Dan: We need the Anti-Obama, whatever the cost!
Dogboy: When what to my wondering eyes should alight,
Mr. Dan: But a huge red sleigh that only turns right!
Dogboy: A chunky old driver, with a lead-foot boot,
Mr. Dan: I knew in a moment, it must be Saint Newt!
Dogboy: All at once and together, pronouncements they came. They whistled and shouted and called out by name!
Mr. Dan: Now tax cuts, now corporations, all regulations be vanished! On health care, on schools, all spending is banished!
To the right of the right, to St. Newt's very soul, a gift for you all, that's the Republican goal!
[huge coal boulder falls on Mr. Dan]
Dogboy: A big heavy lump of bituminous coal?
Mr. Dan: Uhgh, dash away, dash away, Dogboyyyughh…
Dogboy: Is it "clean coal," Mr. Dan? 'Cause you must be really clean now!
Happy Holidays!