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Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the doodle...

Maybe it was my recent trip to Five Guys Burgers and Fries that woke me from my dietary slumber.  Upon ordering a burger and a regular fry, the girl at the counter, probably meaning well yet apparently still oblivious to how offensive she sounded, asked me, "You do realize a regular fry feeds two to three people, right?"  I responded, "Why yes.  Yes I do.  I'll take a regular fry."  I then ate my regular fry and washed it down with a regular Coke - I was going to drink diet, but something about drinking regular made me feel like I was really sticking it to that cashier.  Besides, I was already eating for two to three people, so what the hell, right?

I know I'm fat.  I remember every morning when I look in the mirror.  I don't need fast food employees reminding me.

That being said, the Five Guys girl did have a point.  I've really become lax when it comes to my diet since I lost seventy pounds a few summers ago.  And ever since Thanksgiving, I've been running.  Not the healthy kind of running - the kind my fat ass needs more of - but the figurative kind of running, which burns far fewer calories, needless to say.  I've been running scared from a bogeyman in my life: my bathroom scale.

Scary, huh?

Well, I think so.  That's why I went a month without stepping on it.

After Thanksgiving dinner, I just couldn't bring myself to even look at my scale, much less see the damage I'd done to myself with all the corn casserole, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin cobbler.  A day without weighing myself turned into a week, which turned into two weeks - and then the holiday food season really hit, and I went another few weeks scared out of my mind by the silver, square-shaped schoolyard bully known as my bathroom scale.  It's always so blunt with me, much like the woman at Five Guys.  It just tells me exactly how much I weigh - no sugarcoating, no easing me into it, no consolation.  It just gets right down to business and tells me I'm fat.

Needless to say, after a month of not weighing myself, I'd lost all grasp of what exactly I was consuming.  There were no consequences for eating holiday cookies and cinnamon rolls and cake.  Day after day, I was purposely in the dark as to what I was doing to myself.

And then it happened.

I slid on my favorite pair of jeans one day.  Well, maybe "slid" isn't quite accurate.  I got them halfway up, and then I jumped up and down a few times.  And then I buttoned them, except I didn't.  I tried again.  And again.  Finally, I got them buttoned, but something wasn't quite right.  Oh, that's right, I reminded myself - I stopped weighing myself and lost all dietary control from Thanksgiving to Christmas.  That might explain the circus freakshow otherwise known as Chrislove trying to put on his jeans.  My proverbial chickens had come home to roost.

So, between that and being told I'm eating for two to three at Five Guys, I decided it was time to conquer my fear and just step on the scale.

And, as it turned out, I'd gained ten pounds since Thanksgiving.  Twenty since I moved to Texas in August.

I have a little work to do...

So, I've made some late New Year's resolutions.  1. No more desserts.  2. No more regular pop, and only a glass of diet pop each day (I'll get caffeine withdrawals otherwise, and I don't need that).  And drink more water.  3. No more snacking.  Eating is now for mealtime.

I'm also doing small things like buying lower-fat milk, eating wheat bread instead of white, avoiding chips (which I'd become addicted to), and including more veggies in my meals.  Not to mention walking and taking the stairs more.

So far, so good.  I've been faithful, for the most part, with a few exceptions (the NW PA Kossack gathering at gizmo59's house being one of them).  I've lost about three pounds so far.  It's only a small dent in the damage I caused my body over the holidays, but it's a dent nevertheless.  Hopefully soon, I'll be back to my pre-Texas weight.  And maybe I can wear my favorite jeans again someday soon without cutting off my circulation.

I've learned a valuable lesson: Never run from the bathroom scale.  Because it will find you.  Eventually.

TOP COMMENTS  
January 11, 2012

Thanks to tonight's Top Comments contributors! Let us hear from YOU
when you find that proficient comment.

From Tortmaster:

Phoebe Loosinhouse provided this ridiculously good comment today regarding my weak comparison between Mitt Romney and Gordon Gekko.

From Its the Supreme Court Stupid:

In this comment, blue aardvaark (from Jed Lewison's diary post Mitt Romney says primary victory shows Bain attacks failed) hits on the best definition yet seen for Teh Mittens.

From carolita:

cskendrick produces a magnum opus comment extolling JekylinHyde's Anonymouse logo in kos' diary How about that subscriptio drive?

From Ed Tracey:

In the front-page story about how the tactics of James O'Keefe at the New Hampshire primary could subject his associates to jail time for voter fraud, blue aardvark goes on to ask the question "Will this be enough to end (his) parole?" - then Chris Andersen takes it a step further by asking if the actions by O'Keefe constitute subornation?

Finally, from your humble diarist poster, Chrislove:

I liked Giles Goat Boy's idea for Scott Walker in badscience's diary post Scott Walker Billboard Fail (another Bwuhahaha moment).

TOP MOJO
January 10, 2012


(excluding Tip Jars and first comments)

Got mik!

  1) Wow by madame damnable — 240
  2) I chat with Horace nearly every day by commonmass — 196
  3) You said it by Dallasdoc — 188
  4) Great story!! by Hugh Jim Bissell — 169
  5) In 2009 the GOP ruined "Town Halls" by voracious — 163
  6) Does this mean that anyone can hire a cop by inHI — 139
  7) Bear in mind by twigg — 135
  8) Not enough of a hit by Dallasdoc — 133
  9) The Society of Unreconstructed Confederates by JekyllnHyde — 128
10) Yes, while pulled out of context, by TomP — 118
11) Astonishing, and dreadful. by SottoVoce — 115
12) #OHBIII -Occupy Horace's memory. A great idea. by catilinus — 114
13) here's how i resolve the dichotomy by akadjian — 112
14) the GOP failboat by bubbanomics — 110
15) Note: author is a Harvard Divinity student by FishOutofWater — 105
16) If you're still in the area, get yourself by hannah — 104
17) This is BULLSH*T. My God! Call the ACLU by icemilkcoffee — 104
18) Heck, by Clio2 — 104
19) From Obama's PR Department: by JanF — 99
20) A civil suit would be a very good idea. eom by MikePhoenix — 98
21) They hate us for our freedoms by MadRuth — 97
22) Also, too, he knows he f'ed up by immanentize — 97
23) The most transparent administration ever! by joanneleon — 96
24) Don't look to the President to put a stop to it. by commonmass — 94
25) True enough by Dallasdoc — 93
26) Thanks for the laugh on the by Puddytat — 91
27) karma is an amazing thing... by Statusquomustgo — 90
28) meanwhile, in the White House by Winston Sm1th — 86
29) Right now by lunachickie — 85
30) There are contracts to service the mortgage. by Something the Dog Said — 84
31) I'll see that wow... by carver — 84
32) Indeed ... excellent question by twigg — 84
33) This is something that I don't understand by Ernest T Bass — 84

TOP PHOTOS
January 10, 2012


Enjoy jotter's wonderful PictureQuilt™ below. Just click on the picture and it will magically take you to the comment that features that photo. Have fun, Kossacks!
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