In a last-ditch effort to prevent Mitt Romney from winning the presidential nomination that is rightfully his own, Newt Gingrich—who practically tore down the Berlin Wall with his bare hands—has made the strategic decision to fully embrace socialism, much to the delight of Democrats.
Sounding like something from Occupy Wall Street, Gingrich has taken to the airwaves to spread his anti-capitalist message far and wide, aided by $5 million in redistributed wealth.
Republicans claim to be totally perplexed by this Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, but they really shouldn't be.
After all, Newt has a history of speaking French.
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R); Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV); Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC); Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC).
Face the Nation: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R); Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA); Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC); Author Jodi Kantor.
This Week: Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R); Stephen Colbert (Colbert Report); Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Cokie Roberts (ABC News), Jonathan Karl (ABC News), Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal) and Paul Krugman (New York Times).
Fox News Sunday: Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA); Rick Tyler (Winning Our Future); Chris Chocola (Club for Growth); Roundtable: Brit Hume (Fox News), Kristen Powers (Daily Beast), Bill Kristol (Weekly Standard) and Juan Williams (Fox News).
State of the Union: Texas Gov. (R); Obama Campaign Strategist David Axelrod; Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Bob Jones II (Bob Jones University); Rev. Brad Atkins (South Carolina Baptist Convention); Reliable Sources: Nia-Malika Henderson (Washington Post); Glynnis MacNicol (Business Insider); Maggie Haberman (Politico); Amy Holmes (GBTV); David Shuster (Current TV); Eric Deggans (Tampa Bay Times); Verne Gay (Newsday).
The Chris Matthews Show: Michael Duffy (TIME); Kelly O'Donnell (NBC News); John Harris (Politico); Liz Marlantes (Christian Science Monitor).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Paul Krugman (New York Times); Harvard Professor Kenneth Rogoff; Former Iraqi Prime Minister Ayad Allawi; Max Boot (Council on Foreign Relations); Former Deputy United Nations Envoy to Afghanistan Peter Galbraith.
Up with Chris Hayes: Former Lobbyist Jack Abramoff; Bob Herbert (Demos); Rep. Nan Hayworth (R-NY); Katrinia vanden Heuvel (The Nation); Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT); Reddit Co-Founder Alexis Ohanian.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: an interview with Groupon CEO Andrew Mason (preview); a report on the tiny and prosperous Middle Eastern country of Qatar (preview); and, an interview with 13-year-old math and science prodigy Jake Barnett (preview).
On Comedy Central:
Jon Stewart discovered that that you'd have to get up pretty early in the morning to make a bigger ass of yourself than CNN's hosts.
The Daily Show
Monday: Author Jodi Kantor
Tuesday: Actor Liam Neeson
Wednesday: TBA
Thursday: Actress Elizabeth Banks
Stephen Colbert then bodily transferred his Super PAC powers to Jon, paving the way for his potential candidacy for president in the United States of South Carolina.
The Colbert Report
Monday: Scott Douglas (Greater Birmingham Ministries)
Tuesday: Former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm (D)
Wednesday: David Frum (Daily Beast)
Thursday: Carrie Rebora Barratt (Metropolitan Museum of Art)
Elsewhere...
Republican candidate for Missouri governor Dave Spence had to do a little housecleaning on his website after getting caught cooking his textbooks.
Until Thursday, Spence (R) had claimed on his campaign website that he "earned a degree in Economics" from the University of Missouri. But on Tuesday, Jake Wagman of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch pointed out that this was a bit of a stretch — Spence's degree was in home economics.
From the Dispatch:
The school says that Spence majored in family economics and management — also called consumer economics —which earned him a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Home Economics in 1981.
Meanwhile...
Fake economist Ben Stein filed a religious discrimination suit against electronics maker Kyocera after they excommunicated him for his nonsensical beliefs.
According to the complaint, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Kyocera approached Stein in December 2010 to inquire as to his availability to appear in TV advertisements for Kyocera printers. Stein agreed and they began negotiating a contract. Three months later, before the contract was executed, Kyocera learned that Ben Stein is an idiot who denies the reality of global climate change. So they changed their mind and withdrew the offer, because they didn't want to be represented by an idiot. That's how capitalism works, right? Companies make decisions based on their interests, and contracts are the law of the land.
No! Capitalism works by suing people when you don't get your way. To hear Stein tell it, even though they didn't sign a contract, they still had a contract since Stein really, really, wanted the $300,000 Kyocera had offered contingent on signing the contract, which never happened.
Also, according to Stein, he has a right to the $300,000 under the Constitution, which guarantees him freedom of religion. See, Stein believes that global warming isn't real because "God, and not man, control[s] the weather." When Kyocera declined to pay Stein $300,000 to represent the corporation in part because it doesn't want to be associated with that belief, it violated Stein's constitutional right to $300,000. He also accuses Kyocera of violating his "freedom of speech" and "political freedom." Stein has no political freedom, because Kyocera robbed him of the freedom when it refused to pay him $300,000.
And in other monetary news...
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer is trying to get the state capitol buildings she pawned out of hock.
Citing the state's upcoming 100th birthday, Gov. Jan Brewer on Monday asked lawmakers to buy back three buildings at the Capitol that were mortgaged off two years ago to balance the budget.
The move will cost the state $105 million out of its current budget surplus. Brewer press aide Matthew Benson said the state has the cash.
Benson acknowledged the state actually got only $81 million for the state House, the Senate and the nine-story executive tower that includes Brewer's office when it negotiated a "sale-leaseback" arrangement in 2010.
But he said that $24 million difference should not be seen as an exorbitant interest rate for just two years of borrowing. Instead, Benson said, it actually is a savings: If the state had taken the full 20 years to pay off the debt, the cost would be far more.
Brewer, however, said she sees this as more than an issue of dollars and cents. She called it a matter of pride as the state recovers economically.
I'd buy that for a dollar.
- Trix