Another Republican debate, another series of barely coherent observations conveyed via the Twitter. If you're looking for coherent, incisive commentary on the state of the GOP field, well then you're out of luck.
Another debate's about to begin, another bowl smoked. Let's do this thing.
Is it just me or does @BretBaier look like a Donny Osmond doll?
Let's get rrready to rrrrrrrrrumblllle!
#JonHuntsman can still participate by #Twitter. He'd be only marginally less important than if he was there.
If they speak over their time they should just shoot them.
Unless Fox are a bunch of anti-NRA hippies.
One of Dr. King's lesser known quotes: "I had a large Coke with that, too."
Oh snap. It's on, Newtron.
#NewtGingrich's new slogan: He's just burning, doing the Newtron Dance.
Obligatory paean to Reagan. Check.
How long before they just start openly worshipping Reagan as a god?
@BretBaier Ask #NewtGingrich about his enormous head, only pronounce it "heed."
@BretBaier Ask #MittRomney how long he can function on his existing power cell.
#MittRomney: My record is pretty much available.
The popular tide is turning in #MittRomney's favor. It's like he made a deal with the Mormon devil. Who's probably an Osmond.
#RickPerry: We've got records. It's just that they're all gospel and country. If you wanna listen to something else, go to hell.
#RickPerry: BURN DOWN THE REGULATORY AGENCIES SO THIS CAN NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!
#MittRomney just promised to get rid of all the unnecessary regulations. Like child labor laws. JUST RED TAPE!
#MittRomney, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!
@BretBaier Ask #MittRomney if Staples and Sports Authority jobs are the best we can hope for.
#RonPaul: THEY'RE ALL AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS!
Of course left wing organizations are against you, #RickSantorum. They deal in fact and reason.
Wow. #Romney got PWNED.
OMG did #RickSantorum just make a pitch for the black vote?
PIG PILE ON ROMNEY! PIG PILE ON ROMNEY!
#RickSantorum might have just changed the course of the race right there.
Mitt needs to hit @RickSantorum hard. Say "how can he be expected to defeat president Obama when he couldn't even defend his Senate seat?"
Or make fun of his sweater vest.
But Romney's wearing magic underwear, so he probably doesn't want to get into a clothing contest.
CONVERT, MITT! CONVERT!
@MittRomney could cinch the election right now if he had a born again moment.
@MittRomney can't even say the word "sex." It's "gender" with him.
I wonder if Anne Romney gives good oral gender?
Do Mormons do that? I need a Mormon, STAT!
@NikkiHaley looks like she should star in a sitcom where she's a perky single mom.
@BretBaier Ask @RickPerry if he is happy with his hair choices.
@BretBaier Ask @Rick Perry: Who do you think you are? And What gives you the right?
@RickPerry: It's not a war on religion, it's just the law. It's called "separation of church and state." I know that's a lot of words. Try.
Wait, @RickSantorum, so are you saying welfare reform is when you reformed welfare?
So much for that black vote, @RickSantorum.
@BretBaier Ask @NewtGingrich if he knows how to answer a question.
I think @MittRomney ate #JonHuntsman. Think about that. Mitt Romney ate a human being. And now he can say he's had another man inside him.
Here comes my dose of crazy! @RonPaul!
So basically @RonPaul wants to turn the United States into an armed garrison?
@BretBaier Ask @RonPaul if he'd wear a uniform in his little fascist dream America.
Part of me wants to elect @RonPaul just to see what would happen.
@MittRomney: I will plan to maybe think about looking at releasing them then. [His financial records]
@BretBaier Ask @MittRomney if he wants a drink of water. He looks like he needs it.
See, @MittRomney's got nothing to lose. Even if he doesn't win, he gets his own planet when he dies.
Did @RickSantorum just say women should be barefoot and pregnant? It kind of sounded like that's what he said.
@BretBaier Ask @RickSantorum if he seriously just advocated forcing young girls into unwanted marriages.
Uh-oh. Race question for @RonPaul. That @JuanWilliams sure is uppity, eh, Ron?
And here we see why all the hippies love @RonPaul. Never mind that he'd have them rounded up and shot.
@RonPaul: You're no Martin Luther King.
What @NewtGingrich isn't telling you is that his daughter is black.
@BretBaier Ask @NewtGingrich if every kid would work in his America, or just the poor ones?
@BretBaier Ask @NewtGingrich if it hurts having @JuanWilliams' foot up his ass.
Wow redux. @NewtGingrich just dropped a Newtron Bomb.
He's singing like Olivia Newtron John.
Yeah, okay, that last one was a stretch. Whaddaya want? They can't all be gems.
It's a volume business.
Which breakfast cereals are the candidates?
@MittRomney is corn flakes.
@RickPerry is oatmeal.
@RonPaul is Lucky Charms guy.
Or maybe the Cocoa Puffs bird.
@RonPaul thinks Pakistan could become the next Vietnam. He may be right.
Maybe @RickPerry is Cap'n Crunch. Neither will ever make Adm'ral.
I bet @RonPaul's favorite album is The Wall. Like the one he wants to build around America.
@Pakistan: You just got stomped by the Newtron Dance.
@RonPaul's getting booed. You almost have to feel bad for him. Almost.
It sucks that the #Taliban are such assholes, because "Taliban" is a really cool sounding name.
Someone should start a terrorist-themed rock group called the Taliband.
@BretBaier Ask @MittRomney how many Mormon missionaries he'd send to Afghanistan.
@RickSantorum would help #Israel turn into a second Crusader Kingdom. He'd probably pay to rebuild the Temple too.
That's what happens when you base your life on a magic book.
#Turkey is flexing its muscles. They are going to be the dominant power in the Middle East in the coming decades.
I wish #Turkey were the #OttomanEmpire again. I have a lot of material for that.
@RickPerry, @RickSantorum and people like him want to turn #Israel into America's garrison in the Holy Land.
The urinating marines' biggest crime was putting the lie to the idea of American "Exceptionalism." Exceptional nations don't do that.
@BretBaier Tell @RonPaul: With great power comes great responsibility. Spider-Man taught me that.
I wish Spider-Man would run for president.
The campaign slogan could be: WATCH OUT! Here comes the Spider-Man!
@BretBaier Ask @MittRomney how long it would be before all non-Mormons were considered "enemy combatants?"
I hate it when I agree with @RonPaul.
@BretBaier Ask @RickPerry what shampoo he uses. Seriously. That guy's hair is inhuman.
@RickPerry is on tonight. He's strung together several coherent sentences.
@MittRomney's plan for Social Security actually sounds okay. But something tells me not to trust him.
I don't think wealth inequality in Chile is anything to get excited about, Newt.
The #Republicans always like to say we should be more like #China, ignoring the fact that China is a communist dictatorship.
60,000 millionaires receiving Social Security costs us $1-1.4 billion a year. That would buy a lot of sweater vests.
@BretBaier Ask @NewtGingrich which sounds cooler, "Iron Klaw" or "DevastaTor." That capital T is important.
@BretBaier Ask @RonPaul what he's going to do about the Nazis on the moon.
@BretBaier Ask @RickSantorum if he's ever had a turducken.
@MittRomney has never bared his arms. He's a MORMON for heaven's sake!
@MittRomney has never been within 100 feet of a "varmint."
Oh SNAP! @NewtGingrich laying the smackdown on #MittRomney!
The biggest hoax since Bigfoot is a good line.
Plus it makes you think that maybe @NewtGingrich is actually a midget Bigfoot with alopecia.
I wish SuperPACs were like SuperMAN. All sexy and in tights.
The problem with "securing the border" is that the cultural border is about 200 miles north of the political border.
@BretBaier Ask @RickPerry what he's going to do with all the brown people still in the country after his Great Wall is complete.
I'm actually okay with giving education back to the states. Let Arkansas and Mississippi turn themselves into Third World sinkholes.
@MittRomney had a rough night.
He'd better wear the SUPER magic underwear Thursday.
@MittRomney got his ass handed to him, but #Fox is spinning it as a win. I guess it's not just a "liberal" media bias.