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I asked Jesus what he thought about WA state allowing gay marriage today.  Yes, I don't go to church or read my bible anymore, but I still talk to Jesus from time to time.  Usually it's just about stuff that I could use some help coping with.  Airplane flights.  Doctor visits.  Driving behind a biker up a hill on a one lane one way street.  But sometimes I ask for things I really want.  For my wife to get pregnant.  For reconciliation with my adopted family.  For the Mayans to be wrong about the end of the world, if only by one year, so I can see the second of the two Hobbit movies.  

So, yeah, most of my conversations with Jesus are about asking for things from him.  But sometimes, once in a blue moon, I just ask Jesus what he thinks about things going on down here on Earth.

So, today I read that WA state, my state, finally has the votes to legalize Gay Marriage.  I was literally beaming from ear to ear as I read about it.  But my smile turned to a bit of a frown as I read this quote from a pastor of a church in WA state.

"You are saying as a committee and a Legislature that you know better than God," said Ken Hutcherson, pastor of Antioch Bible Church.

I gathered that this pastor thinks that God is opposed to Gay marriage and therefore, the representatives of the people of WA state, who are supporting Gay marriage, are saying that they know better than God.  Interesting.  If God is opposed to Gay marriage, then the pastor certainly does have a valid point.  So, as someone who still talks to Jesus once in a while, I decided to find out what Jesus thinks of legalizing Gay marriage in WA for myself.  

So, I asked Jesus what he thought about WA state allowing gay marriage.  At first, I didn't get an answer.  Not a big deal.  It happens.  Jesus is a busy fellow.  So, I went about my business and waited for a response.  

About an hour and a half later Jesus said 'hi'.  Well, he actually said 'Shalom', but it basically means 'hi'.  He apologized for keeping me waiting, but he said that he was busy with a conversation with Lucifer.  I jokingly asked him if he thought Lucifer would actually beat Romney for the GOP nomination.  There was a bit of a pause after that and I started to wonder if I had offended Jesus.  Then Jesus came back laughing and said that he just told that to Lucifer and that he had to almost give Lucifer the Heimlich maneuver because Lucifer had started laughing so hard he breathed in his drink and started choking.  

We laughed some more as we talked about the GOP debates, but then Jesus said that he had to wrap the talk up because he had to explain to someone named Steve that having been successful at business was not an excuse for having been such an asshole.  

I asked him what he thought about legalizing Gay marriage in WA state again and he asked me what the scriptures say about it.  I said that Gay marriage wasn't even mentioned in the bible.  He asked me if I was certain about that.  I paused to think for a minute.  For those of you who have talked to Jesus, you know that he never answers questions directly.  He's like a college Lit teacher.  He doesn't want to give you the answers, he wants to help you learn to figure them out for yourself.

I said that the scriptures say that there is no marriage in the next life.  That we will all be like the angels.  He asked me if I was certain that there was no marriage in the next life.  Again, I paused to think it through.  I was under a little pressure, because I really wanted to figure it out before he left.  But, he said that he really needed to go and that I would figure it out if I didn't give up trying.

'The church is your bride and about half of the church are men!'  I said.

'Exactly' he said and started to leave.

'Wait!'  I said.  'There one more thing!'

'What?'  he asked.

'The Heimlich maneuver doesn't work when you are choking on liquid.'  I said.

'Shalom', he said and I could hear him chuckling as he left.

Originally posted to Anton Bursch on Mon Jan 23, 2012 at 03:10 PM PST.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

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