As I’m sure is the case with many of the folks here, I get semi-regular emails from a conservative family member. You know the ones—those emails. I received one last night that really set me off. I’m not certain what it was in particular about this one, but even this morning, after trying to sleep it off, I’m still upset about it.
As personal background, I’m retired US Military (20 years, USN), now working as a government contractor. My last duty assignment was as an instructor, trying to pass on the previous 17 years’ accumulated learning to the next generation. I’ve always been left of center, despite most of the rest of my family being conservative, avowed Republicans. To see a slightly edited version of my response to the email, follow me below the fold...
The initial email regarded the obituary of one Larmondo “Flair” Allen. I won’t post it here in its entirety due to its length—but it had the following for its main thrust:
Entrepreneur?????
It took me a couple of minutes to get it, but imagine,
he's 25 and has 3 sons and 6 daughters
NINE welfare recipients collecting $950 each.....
That equals $8,550 a month !!! Now add food stamps,
free medical, free school lunches, on and on and on.
Now that, to me, is a real Entrepreneur.
Do the math... $102,000+ a year.
Anybody out there sittin' on their a** while reading
this message making a hundred grand doing nothing?
YOUR TAX $$$$ AT WORK??
It goes on to calculate how much, by the above math, his extended family would be making, had they had nine children each; I’ll spare you the large, colorful text, and sum up that they estimate the group of 130 hypothetical brothers, sisters, and cousins, would be taking in a total of $11,700,000 per year, or the equivalent of the taxes paid by “1000 average taxpayers.”
First, the obvious. Supposing Larmondo’s girlfriend was receiving $950 per child for 9 children, a supposition we’ll attack in a moment. That would be $8550 per month, but that sum alone (never mind the free medical, free school lunches, food stamps, etc.) totals $102,600. I suppose that technically the email is right—it’s “plus” $102,600 per year. But they’re missing someone—wouldn’t the girlfriend be getting welfare as well? That would be $114,000 per year. Add in the supposition that the kids would be getting a Social Security death benefit (for their father having died), and they’re raking in the money.
The problem is this: According to the most recent information I’ve been able to find (here), in Louisiana, this (now) single mother with 9 children would receive $512/month with a lifetime limit of collecting this for 5 years. She'd be able to get roughly another $500/month in food stamps, and she would probably get some housing assistance as well. That’s $6,144 per year for welfare, plus another $6,000 per year for food stamps. The welfare would run out after 5 years, for a grand total of $30,720. Add in the food stamps, and over a five-year period, she’s getting $60,720.
The Social Security Death Benefit? Not likely. First, Larmondo would have had to have been employed and paying Social Security taxes for 18 months. By all accounts, he was a murderous drug dealer. Probably not so much on the SocSec taxes. Also, your survivors don’t get the death benefit unless you’ve put in 18 quarters of work—four and a half years. Without evidence to the contrary, I’m certain that he hadn’t put that in.
As to the extended family, the basic math doesn’t add up. Figuring in the 117 offspring and the $8550/month number, we’re looking at $12,004,200 per year, or already a chunk over what was cited. Add in the brothers and sisters (parents of said extended offspring), and the number climbs to $13,338,000 per year.
Is this accurate? If each of the brothers and sisters had actually “replicated Larmondo’s feat,” then based on the Louisiana information given above, we’re looking at $789,360 in welfare and food stamps over a five-year period; a sizable sum, to be sure, but only about 6% of the over $13 million cited above.
How many “average taxpayers” it would take to pay the above is more difficult. The most recent numbers I can find from the Congressional Budget Office are from 2007; since Larmondo died in 2004, I’m reasonably comfortable using that data. In that year, the national median pre-tax adjusted income was $41,700. Post-tax adjusted income was $35,700; this indicates that the average taxpayer paid $6000. I can play with the numbers in lots of ways, re-defining “average;” about $6000 is the lowest number I’ve been able to find. As such, we’re looking at 2.024 people to cover Larmondo’s immediate family’s bills. At just over two people to cover ten, it would take just over 26 people to cover 130. A far cry from the 1000 cited in the email.
Now, the less obvious. Any of the above is pure supposition. The obituary doesn’t mention welfare, or food stamps, or the SSDB, or money of any sort whatsoever. It’s all made up—and, apparently, out of whole cloth.
Where I think the email rubs me the wrong way is demonstrated with this:
(Names withheld)
Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxx Xxxxxxx, Petty Officer Third Class, United States Navy, stationed at Ft. Meade, Maryland, Son of Xxxxx and Xxxxxxx Xxxxxxx, Little brother of Xxxxxxx (Xxxxxxx) and Xxxxx, Brother-in-Law and Best Man of Xxxx Xxxxxxx, Godfather of Xxxxxxxxx and Xxxxxx Xxxxxxx, passed away while serving on active duty in Baltimore, Maryland, January 13th, 2012.
He is an Eagle Scout who loved camping and rock climbing. He is an avid cyclist, runner and triathlete.
He is a beloved member of a proud Navy family that moved all over the country and decided to go and serve his country as well.
He was born on July 16, 1989 in St. Mary’s Georgia. He graduated from Olympic High School in Bremerton, Washington in 2007, and attended the University of Washington for a year prior to joining the Navy.
His playful, open and easy going demeanor will be sorely missed by his family, friends and shipmates.
We wish Xxxxxxxx fair winds and following seas during his new journey.
Pulling the same sort of analysis on this obituary as on the above, we can gather the following:
This young man was in the military for about three years. Even using only the most recent pay tables, his total base pay, through three and a half years of service, would have been $78,220 before taxes. He would have received about $5830 tax-free for food, and $14,760 tax-free for housing, all of which would have come during the last 18 months. (Average rent for a 2-bedroom apartment in Baltimore in 2011 was $1430, or about $17,160 for the year; easily accomplished with a roommate.)
He probably didn’t have 18 quarters of work, so there’s no SSDB for him, but he probably did have the full $400,000 in Servicemember’s Group Life Insurance, which would go to his family, plus whatever other life insurance he may have had. Additionally, $6,000 of his funeral costs are being covered by the Navy.
Where this all breaks down is in the details—what isn’t in the obituary. It states that he “passed away.” The news item released by his command—where I was last stationed on active duty, and where he was one of my last students—states that he was "found dead in his apartment.” While there is a grain of truth there, just as with the email above, it’s missing the essence of the matter. He was “found” by the police, “dead in his apartment” of a self-inflicted gunshot wound following a 6-hour standoff. Beforehand, he had called his roommate, several friends, and his family, and expressed his intent.
What I’m getting at is this: You can analyze, read into, and make suppositions, based on any sort of news item. That doesn’t make them right. Doing it based on an obituary, whether that of a troubled young Sailor or that of a convicted felon, is tasteless. Trying to make it humorous is even more tasteless. And trying to make partisan political points about it is just crass.