This is a continuation of the diary I posted yesterday:
I have an idea, and I need your help
Which was itself a continuation of the diary posted the day before:
F**k Joe Paterno
Here is the premise of my idea, in case you missed it:
As you may have heard, a public memorial service is being held for Joe Paterno at the Bryce Jordan Center on Thursday, January 26th at 2PM. Tens of thousands are expected to attend, and I'm sure it is going to be broadcast across the country, and replayed ad naseum. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying I will be avoiding the news for pretty much that entire day.
I had an idea occur to me this morning though. This was the part of my diary that I felt most impassioned about:
I'm one of the lucky ones. I am unlike the millions of kids who never escape from the cycle of psychological torture and self inflicted violence- the kids and adult survivors who kill themselves, either directly or indirectly. The ones who never make it out ok.
And when they die, they don't get photo layouts, or tributes. They are faceless. They are nameless. They are forgotten.
Well, this Thursday, I want to change that.
Many people have commented and sent me messages about their own experiences with sexual trauma- including tragic stories of loved ones who have died, in no small part, as a result of that trauma.
I would like to use Thursday, 2:00 PM, to honor them.
So here is my request- If you know someone who falls into this category, and you would like to honor their memory, and THEIR legacy, instead of Joe-Pa's, please send me their information to Swedishjewfish@gmail.com. Please use "Tribute" as the subject line, so I know what it is. You can share as much or as little as possible-you don't need to reveal their name or their picture, but just something about their life, that they could be remembered by. Childhood pictures also work to preserve some anonymity, while still putting a face to the person talked about. I think images are VERY powerful. They force you to look, force you to feel and understand that this happens to actual PEOPLE and not statistics
Send me your own survivor story too. I can post it under your own name, or anonymously. It is your choice. Send me artwork, poems, anything you would like.
My submission deadline will be Tomorrow night, just so I have time to put it all together. It will be a SAFE SPACE for victims and survivors (I will explain what that means when I post it, and it will be strictly enforced) But it will be "open to the public"-those who have experienced it, those who have not, those who want to show support, or stories, or simply understand.
Also, like any memorial service, I want to set up a memorial fund-with the proceeds going towards RAINN-The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network, which is The nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. I have seen the generosity of this community before, and I know we can make a huge difference. Through the help of one of my fellow Kossacks, I am being put in direct contact with the VP of marketing at RAINN to help facilitate that, which is kind of a BFD :)
I'm going to be working all day putting this together (this is one of the only times I can recall thinking to myself "thank goodness I'm unemployed!) BUT, I really do need some help in order to get it all together on time. If you would like to know how YOU can be a part of pulling this off, follow me below the squiggly thing that I have in the past referred to as a tapeworm
1. Rec this diary- Yes, I am asking you to rec my diary. I feel a little gross doing that, but I want it to stay on the rec list so that people can see it and have a chance to submit their own stories if they want to. I believe making comments helps keep diaries on the rec list too, so blather away!
2. Contact RAINN for me, help me put together the RAINN makers fund-Please email me for details.
3. Find news stories for me- Stories like this one (I'm already planning on including it) A good place to look is on the blog Bad Breeders and Dreamin Demon. They might seem a little incendiary to some of you here but they do cover the stories that nobody wants to talk about. I am friends with April, one of the admins of Bad Breeders, and she is a FIERCE advocate for children-this blog has covered just about every child abuse/neglect/murder story in the country for a number of years involving family members. If you are offended easily, you might not want to go there.
Reading about such things is heart wrenching and it will take people who have a lot of intestinal fortitude to do it. I am requesting only stories with the following criteria though:
*Involves child sexual abuse (not that other forms of abuse are not worth our time, but for tomorrow I think we should keep it focused on that)
*Includes a picture of the child- You will probably only run across this when the child in question is deceased. Like I said, images are powerful.
*Includes a tribute to the child him or herself, not just the gruesome details of what happened to him or her. An obituary, a memorial page, quotes from people who knew that child in life.
If you find stories, please email them to me Already have help on this, and all the stories I will use. They will be memorials, not horror stories.
4. I need someone to help me with editing. Someone who is good at HTML/some web design background especially. Email me for details. Thanks Turbonerd!
5. Keep sending in your stories. Don't you dare think that your story is undeserving of being part of this either! There are so many different kinds of abuse, and it's usually only the most horrific examples that we pay any attention to. In a way, I wish (well for a variety of reasons) that my own experience was not so extreme, because I've gotten so many comments about how someone else's abuse "pales in comparison" and therefore shouldn't be included. No, it doesn't. Abuse is abuse. And it is important to hear stories of what some call "soft" (horrible euphamism for it) abuse too, because so few people RECOGNIZE that as abuse, and therefore never report it. Also that "soft" abuse is often only part of the process of grooming.
That is all I can think of for now...I might add on to this list and remove items throughout the day.
One more thing....
I have gotten 96 emails so far with the subject line "Tribute". I just need to address something though...
I so appreciate and love all of the emails I've gotten that have just given me support and love. I only humbly ask that you don't use "Tribute" in the subject line if it doesn't contain one, because I'm trying to divide up my inbox between the tributes that I'm using to put together in the diary and all the other emails. I have to concentrate on the Tribute ones first, since I'm in a time crunch. If you emailed me a message of support, you might not hear back from me for days. I might honestly overlook you and not write back at all-but just know that I read EVERY single one and appreciated it and you gave me one more ounce of strength to keep pushing forward.
P.S. My deadline is midnight tonight, although I am notoriously lax with deadlines. There is still plenty of time to get something in. And to reeiterate I WILL PROTECT YOUR ANONYMITY, unless you tell me it's ok to use your name.
And THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart, for all of the help and support and love. You guys are amazing, you keep me going. I probably won't be around much today, so the best way to contact me is through my email.
Love and solidarity,
-SJF (a.k.a. Rebecca, the girl who climbs trees)
6:55 AM PT: Concerns have been raised, and they are valid...concerns I share. I do not want to dwell on the negative, I just want to honor the faceless and the nameless.
I humbly ask that you write tributes to those who have passed on...you can write to me about the abuse you suffered too, because I know that can be cathartic. I just will not include that portion in the diary.
I.E. A tribute to myself (before I was raped) would be something like:
To the girl who climbed trees, higher than all the boys in the neighborhood ever dreamed of. The girl who taught her baby sister how to read before she was even in kindergarten, and loved unconditionally and feared nothing but spiders but died inside when she was 10 years old.You were beautiful and perfect, I love you. And I hope you can one day be fully a part of me again.
Stuff like that.
That is what I will include.....not details of abuse. Or as little as possible, and I will include trigger warnings.
I hope you all understand. I'm doing the best I can to make it worthy of all those who's memory it is for.
8:48 AM PT: You know what? On second thought, you can write whatever you want. I'm going back and reading some of the horror stories I was sent and there is beauty in them too. I may include them after all...if not now, for a future project I'm working on.
No restrictions, no boundaries. Pour your heart out to me. I'll figure it out :)