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Florida Primary Prize

On the eve of the Florida primary, we could use some levity, so please join me tonight in an Indigo Kalliope limerick challenge. In the spirit of inclusiveness, we welcome any form of verse (haiku, sonnets, odes, villanelles, free verse, ballads, whatever…). Just submit your poetic contribution in the comments section, and weigh in on the efforts of our witty, insightful, and literate Indigo Kalliope group members and visitors.

The main objective is to have some fun and lampoon the candidates (as if they have not already done much of our work themselves!), their surrogates, the party, and the deeply flawed (yet wildly entertaining) process.

To help give your creative flywheel a spin, here are a few limericks:

Sarah Palin’s been shilling for Newt
(Can’t she tell that she’s no longer cute?)
With a wink and a smirk
She’s supporting that jerk:
A bombastic, philandering brute.

Women cringe in disgust when they find
Two philanderers sharing one mind
Newt's endorsement by Cain
Has a brand new refrain:
 “Grope and change” edged out “vote 9-9-9”!

Romney’s out on the warpath at last
Though his wealth leaves some voters aghast
Though he’s flipped and he’s flopped
Once the voters have shopped
All these flaws they will surely look past.

Rick Santorum’s been doing his best
In his all-too-familiar wool vest
“I’ll keep marriage intact
From those gays; that’s a fact!
Only I pass the purity test!.”

There’s no “quit” in Ron Paul, sad to say
At the edges he nibbles away
But will he or son Rand
Make a third-party stand?
(For this outcome Obama must pray!)

Michele Bachmann, Jon Huntsman, alas
Never made it here; ran out of gas
Herman Cain was a bust
And Rick Perry was just
A class clown who’d escaped from his class.  

Marco Rubio, once the top pick
For vice president; now… not so quick
With his statements untrue
And his debts overdue
Even Cubans aren’t buying his schtick.

Poor Reince Priebus has egg on his face
As the “Newt grenade” blows up the place
So he’s on the attack
Slinging mud at Barack
As sheer chaos erupts in the race

While the candidates tossed in their bed
Zombie Reagan returned from the dead
“You’ve a lot to explain
Taking my name in vain
And ignoring the things that I said!”

Soon the voters of Florida trudge
To the polls through the deep campaign sludge
Voting “Romney, I guess…”
As though under duress
Knowing Gingrich will carry a grudge.

Now it’s your turn! Share your assessments, predictions, hopes and fears about this latest stumble along the ongoing Brownian motion random walk of the 2012 GOP campaign. If you’re suffering a creative drought, feel free to provide me with “limerick challenge” topics, and I’ll craft something in response to get things started. Somehow, I suspect you'll have some great contributions to this Limerick Challenge!

Have fun!!

Originally posted to Indigo Kalliope on Mon Jan 30, 2012 at 04:30 PM PST.

Also republished by DKOMA, Hydrant, Protest Music, and Readers and Book Lovers.


Despite an expected poor showing in Florida, Newt will stay in the race until:

9%2 votes
23%5 votes
14%3 votes
9%2 votes
4%1 votes
23%5 votes
0%0 votes
9%2 votes
4%1 votes

| 21 votes | Vote | Results

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