No, David Gregory wasn't at the Florida debate. At least, not on stage. He may have been in the audience rooting for his favorite candidate, though. Gregory is a hack in the same way that Wolf Blitzer isn't a wolf. On last week's show he accused Obama of raising the dreaded Fed deficit more than Shrub when, in fact, it's lower. Obama raised it $600B while Shrub did $1.3 trillion, according to The Business Insider. That's the least rise since Grant gave up drinking. Obama has cut so many govt jobs, while private sector grew 5%, that it kept unemployment figures from falling. Gregory also called David Axelrod "One of those Chicago guys." As if Axelrod is a gangster hell bent on stealing your 401K. Isn't that so yesterday? Gregory should be fired or, at least, informed.
But I came here to talk about the Florida Debate. Yes, it's late but I sleep in.
I thought Newt nicely warded off Mitt's blows and Mitt looked less nerdy than he's been. That was enough for the audience, who thought they were going to see Shark Night, and was only slightly disappointed.
Newt resigned with full honors, apparently, and will build a Moon colony with investor's money. Mitt, apparently, doesn't know what his money is being used for or where it's stashed. He's a great businessman who's always on top of things. Wait, that's his dog.
Ron Paul actually sounded sane. He's entirely consistant though suffering from Alzheimer's and taking us to HR for age discrimination if he loses.
I'm told Rick Santorum was in the building but couldn't be found. Actually, Rick got off a few well placed punches and made his case rather well. Floridians just didn't care about his case. They only came to see Mitt and Newt duke it out.
Newt then said something about just getting along if Mitt would and Mitt said there was nothing wrong with telling people what a douchebag Newt is.
Ron Paul only grinned during the exchange but the audience applauded wildly.
Then Newt explained his role at Freddie's house (not sure who he was talking about) and exposed Mitt's friendship with Freddie. Mitt, of course, knew nothing about Freddie, or the ad he's running which has him saying he approves of the message. Ron Paul brought us back to reality by suggesting the issue was this Freddie guy, not who his friends are, and told us of his plan to break them all up. I thought Paul was just being jealous until he reminded me that he used to be a physician.
Santorum chimed in that he's against adding eating a fetus. Most of the audience nodded in agreement but a few chanted, "Let them eat. Let them eat."
The drugs really took hold about then and I passed out. When I awoke, Mittens and the kids were gone.
This is going to be fun.