About five years ago, my daughter had breast cancer. All is fine now. She is doing well, all signs of cancer are gone and she is living her life as she did before that dreadful disease cut her down for about a year.
During that time, she opted for the DNA test to determine if she had the gene (I don't know much about these specifics). If she had it, she would have had to make a decision to have both breasts removed, thus reducing the odds of the cancer returning.
She didn't have the gene. She had one breast removed and replaced.
And after the year of diagnosis, chemo, hundreds of doctor visits, toilet visits and losing her hair, her dignity and her sense of well being, I told her I was going to join the Race for The Cure. I was going to go "Pink" with the same enthusiasm I went "Yellow" when my son was deployed to Iraq.
And she told me "NO".
My daughter is a right-wing evangelical Christian. And the reason why she didn't want me to go "Pink"?
"All that pink stuff just gives all the glory to the cancer. My glory goes to God".
OK- I know that sounds preachy. But she went on to tell me how the idea of holding party atmosphere marches to 'support breast cancer' makes it sound like the idea of having breast cancer to be cool.
"Everyone wear pink. Laugh and have a good time. Well, it was not a good time while I suffered. Having breast cancer is not fun. Why don't they focus on what happens to a woman- how scary it is. Instead they make it sound like you just survived the common cold- or the flu."
So I didn't join the marches. Instead I donated toCarol Baldwin's charity.
I had met Carol at a fundraising, and I was impressed by the fact that this mother of some pretty famous sons could be so down to earth and humble. That her sons' wealth and prestige can be used to call attention to the lack of research into the causes of breast cancer was a good thing.
And research is what her charity funds. The same research that has women opting for double mastectomies to eliminate the recurrence of cancer.
Last night I called my daughter. I wanted to know how she felt about an organization that appalled her five years ago was now withdrawing funds from an organization that appalls her today. (Her being an anti abortion advocate)
"Now everyone will know that Komen has nothing to do with finding a cure for breast cancer. They never did. As long as there are women with breast cancer, they will make money. Why would they want to change that strategy."
Indeed.