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Patrick Wooden, a preacher in North Carolina who was recently called out for some bizarre homophobic remarks he made on a radio show has decided to attack LGBT activist Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend.

Wooden was on a radio show, again, hosted by a right-wing dude who watches a lot of gay porn and goes to gay S&M events to spy and take pictures, and he said:

I love Pam, and one of these days I hope to invite Pam Spaulding maybe to lunch, and we can sit and talk,” Wooden said. “I love her and I am praying for her.”

“Pam needs Jesus. When Pam meets the Lord that yearning for a member of the same sex will change. … She'd probably make a fantastic mother and would enjoy having a husband who was born male – no Chaz Bono business – born male, and meet her man, and rock rock her world in the name of the Lord.”

Oh no, dude. Just no. First of all, seriously, Pam Spaulding? That's who you're attacking? She's brilliant and she's pretty fearless and I don't know what you're thinking. If you want to target someone who is LGBT and get away with it unscathed then you clearly need to do some research first before you choose a target. Because, wow. Good luck on this mission. You're gonna need it.

Secondly, what the fuck?

(1) Whether she believes in Jesus or not is up to her alone. What someone "needs" is not your business, regardless of your current status as a pastor. Religion is a personal thing and people can make their own decisions about how and when and where to worship. You can't micromanage everyone's faith. You just can't. And really, if, as a pastor, your ultimate goal is to get everyone to come to Jesus, shouldn't you let them do it at their own speed in their own terms (if they choose to do it)? Do you really think that making nasty comments on the radio show of a gay-porn-watching freak is gonna be the thing that convinces her to be religious?

(2) Sexual orientation doesn't change when someone starts following a religion. Duh. How the fuck could that even conceivably work? Sexual orientation is based on genetic and biological factors, not whether or not you can quote the Gospels.

(3) Christianity and a non-heterosexual orientation are not mutually exclusive, no matter how much people try to claim it is. Plenty of Christians are LGBT. Plenty go to church. And why would being LGBT mean someone isn't a follower of Jesus, anyway? The guy never said a word about homosexuality. It's not like he was a violent hater of non-heterosexual, non-cisgender people.

(4) Women who are LGBT can also be mothers. And they can also be fantastic mothers. In fact, many kids grow up with same-sex parents and turn out just fine. So, if she or any other LGBT person wants to be a mother, there is absolutely no need for her to be heterosexual to achieve this.

(5) Whether someone is "born male" (in the real world we call this 'male-assigned') or not ('male-identified') they are male. If someone identifies as male, they're male. It's as simple as that. The idea of being "born male" is an incorrect reading of sex/gender based on the erroneous idea that your sex/gender is tied to your sex organs you're born with.

(6) A husband who is male-identified is a male husband and is no different from a guy who's born with male sex organs. He would be no less a real husband. And a man who is transgender can be heterosexual and therefore can be in a relationship with a woman and raise a family.

(7) ..."Rock her world"? Uh. Worry about your own sex life dude.

So, in short, you really fucked up on this one. I really can't wait to see the fallout from this. Nice job, buddy.

UPDATE: Pam Spaulding's response is here.

UPDATE AGAIN: Here's a transcript of the full audio, also via Pam:

Peter LaBarbera: According to the left you are a rent-a-pastor, I’m referring to a comment made by Pam Spaulding, a lesbian activist in your state. She does not have kind words for you Patrick. She calls you a bigot, and when she found out that you were appearing at our press conference and said you were among the so-called rent-a-pastors. So she was echoing the same sort of stuff we’ve caught by the SPLC [Southern Poverty Law Center], which to reiterate and remind people that they said the white organizers…which I suppose would be Peter LaBarbera and Matt Barber. We brought along a set of black pastors. So Pam, who happens to be black, she also called you a rent-a-pastor. So how do you feel about that?

Patrick Wooden: Well, first of all, I love Pam, and one of these days I hope to invite Pam Spaulding maybe to lunch, and we can sit down and talk, I have never had the privilege of meeting her. I learned that we were at an event one time together and she did not make herself known [news to me; what event is he talking about?] and of course she knew, if my information is correct, she’s aware of who I am and I did not know her. I love her and I am praying for her, and I wouldn’t dare rail insults for insults or slurs for slurs.

I will say that Christ died for Pam, and Jesus will save her and deliver her from sin and that I have nothing but love for her and look forward to an opportunity to sit down and look her in the eye and to talk to her. Now as for the comment that I am a rent-a-pastor (laughs)…listen, Peter, I’ve been called much worse, and you know, my position is this: I don’t mind being rented for the cause of Christ. I don’t mind being rented for God’s Truth, I don’t mind being used for God’s Truth…as a matter of fact I want to thank her for calling me a rent-a-pastor. And I’ll say to the Lord – you can rent me anytime you want. I don’t know why he would since he owns me, but I will do for whatever cause he would want me to be a part of …here I am Lord, I’m like Isaiah, [blah, blah, blah] as long as I am representing God’s Truth.

Peter, it’s really not about her; we’re just vessels to be used by the Lord. It is the cause…it is the truth of God that we represent that is so important. So if the Pam Spauldings of this world, I wouldn’t get into a shouting match with her, I wouldn’t visit her web site, or her Facebook or whatever and rail insult for insult…

Pam needs Jesus, when Pam meets the Lord that yearning for a member of the same sex will change…she’d probably make a fantastic mother [Um, no], and would enjoy having a husband who was born male – no Chaz Bono business – born male – and meet her man, and rock her world, in the name of the Lord.”

Peter: You’re right about the hatred, you expect that the hatred would come – this is a perversion movement.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Wooden is puffing up his bio and telling people he's a doctor, and it turns out that the "doctorate" he received is just a recognition that he has been a pastor for awhile. Thou shalt not lie unless you're trying to sell yourself, I guess. (Or, rent yourself, to be more precise.)

Originally posted to indiemcemopants on Sun Feb 05, 2012 at 12:09 PM PST.

Also republished by Angry Gays and Milk Men And Women.

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