From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
How to Win the Next Super Bowl
First, the numbers:
Gay marriages began in Massachusetts on May 17, 2004. The New England Patriots went on to win the Super Bowl in a massive 24-21 blowout over Philadelphia.
Gay marriages began in New York on July 24, 2011. The New York Giants went on to win the Super Bowl in a massive 21-17 blowout over New England.
Gay marriages began in California on June 16, 2008, but Proposition 8 stopped them on November 5. No California teams went to the Super Bowl that year. When marriages can be performed there again (an appeals court decision on Prop. 8 is due today but it's likely headed to the Supreme Court), Oakland, San Francisco or San Diego will win the Super Bowl. In a blowout.
It's pretty clear, based on the mountain of data above, that the next NFL-affiliated state to legalize gay marriage and keep it legalized through Super Bowl Sunday will win all the marbles. No need to go running to Nate Silver for confirmation. You can trust me, I'm a blogger.
Looking ahead, Super Bowl 47 could be very exciting. Washington state is poised to grant full marriage rights to gay couples (woo hoo!). If they survive a possible referendum challenge, the Seahawks will win. If not, and Maryland legalizes same-sex marriage, the Ravens will win.
But! IF another state acts quickly enough and passes gay marriage before Washington or Maryland, then they will win the Super Bowl. How 'bout it, Ohio? Wouldn't that Lombardi gravy boat look awful purty in your Bengals' or Browns' trophy case? What say you, Michigan? Aren’t you tired of your Lions getting kicked around? Pass gay marriage and your curse will be lifted. Georgia: let your Falcons fly! Carolina: unleash your Panthers!
Mark my words. The road to the Super Bowl is paved with married gay couples. Amazing…but true.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Note: Today's C&J is written exclusively with Lite-Brite pegs. Unfortunately, all I have are black and orange ones, but still: fun!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 7
Days 'til E-Fest ("The world's largest indoor modeling event") in Champaign, Illinois: 4
Expected turnout for the GOP Nevada caucus and the actual turnout, respectively: 70,000 / 32,930
Nevada GOP caucus turnout in 2008: 44,000
(Source: The Maddow Blog)
States that have a higher minimum wage than the federal minimum wage: 18
Amount, from $7.25/hr., to which President Obama supports raising the federal minimum wage (with automatic increases tied to inflation): $9.50
(Source: USA Today)
Number of Americans now on the secret no-fly list because they're suspected terrorists: 500
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
There is no way for Mitt Romney to shake the “uncaring rich guy” label. It’s been there all the time and this just cemented it. He could give away every dollar he has and he’d still be Slick Uncle Moneybags. Time to start strategizing for 2016. This guy is burnt toast already.
---Commenter Bills at RedState
All together now: 1…2…3…
Mmmm…burnt toast.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: A nose to lean on…
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CHEERS to contests #6, 7 and 8. The Republican primary season continues today with caucuses in Colorado and Minnesota, and a primary (but no delegates at stake) in Missouri. Keep an eye on Santorum---he could do well in the latter two states, so Google him often for updates. Meanwhile, it appears that the more Mitt Romney wins, the more he loses:
President Obama has snuck ahead of Romney among registered voters, 51 percent to 45 percent. What's more, 50 percent of voters in the new poll approve of Obama's job performance and the same percentage say he deserves re-election. … Here's a worrisome marker for the former Massachusetts governor: Fifty-two percent of those polled said the more they hear about Romney the less they like him.
Disclaimer: present performance does not guarantee future results. It's always darkest before the dawn. Don’t count your chickens. Look both ways. Luke, I am your father. Measure three times, cut once then blame it on the dog. And etcetera.
JEERS to the destruction of two perfectly lovely reputations. Thanks to the right-wing zealots (apologies for the redundancy) at a formerly well-regarded breast-cancer foundation in the news, many people now reflexively recoil at the color pink and the name Susan G. Komen. Of course, the stupid media don’t help when they (in this case ABC News) write headlines like, Susan G. Komen Apologizes for Cutting Off Planned Parenthood funding. No, Susan G. Komen didn’t apologize---she died in 1980 at the age of 36 from breast cancer. Her name doesn’t deserve to be dragged through the dirt like this, so I think they should rename the organization and let Susan rest in peace. I'm not sure what they should call it, but since they're really good at moving merchandise, but now their motives and methods are suspect, I've got an idea for a new slogan: "Buy Pink?" Nope. Sorry. Not anymore.
CHEERS to repetition that repeats itself. On this date in 1893, the "telautograph" was patented, which automatically added signatures to documents. Don Rumsfeld made great use of it when expressing his condolences to families of soldiers killed in Iraq, thus allowing him to fit in a couple extra games of squash every week. Efficient? Gosh, yes. Heartless bastard? Goodness gracious, of course!
JEERS to returning to the bad old days. Just when you think Democrats have learned how to stand up to Republicans, they go all wobbly again, forcing the base to reach for the valium (assuming the Republican base hasn't gobbled it all up by now). Yesterday the Senate passed---75 to 20---the FAA bill, which includes a big Fuck You to unions:
Democrats and Republicans have been tussling over this bill for a year now, with the key flashpoint being language aimed at preventing transportation workers from forming unions. In the end, Democratic leaders agreed with Republicans on a new measure that largely accomplishes the same anti-union goals — and labor officials are steamed.
It’s unclear how steep the political ramifications will be for Democrats who supported the final package — including President Obama. But unions will continue to make the point that this is not the year to undermine their priorities if, as an incumbent, you want to rely on union organizing power.
Heckuva job, Dems. Republicans set fire to your brother's house, and you rush in and throw gasoline on the flames, you spineless shape-shifting union-stabbing lavender-scented-hanky-sniffing nitwits. That's like Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker walking up (cuz he's a Walker, get it?) and hocking a loogie in the Koch brothers' eyes. That takes a special kind of dumb, and it's disappointing to see that you still don't know the difference between intelligent compromise and turning tail. I say that with love. Mainly because the valium is finally kickin' in.
BREAKING on the internets! In a BIG! BOLD! VENTURE!, the Huffington Post and AOL are going to start streaming live news every weekday for 12 hours a day. Wow. That's pretty amazing. I'm shocked. AOL still exists???
CHEERS to construer constriction. On February 7, 1795 the Eleventh Amendment was ratified. It says: "The judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by citizens of another State, or by citizens or subjects of any foreign state." Sadly, they failed to include "or by aliens from another planet," leading to the unexpected annexation of Montana by the Emperor Glarb of the Xxxxorpp nebula. Whoops!
JEERS to comparing Apples and oranges. Last week Rick Santorum claimed that if people can pay for an iPad, they can damn well pay for their own health care, no matter what it costs. Just a heads-up, Rick: the difference is, when people say "I can't live without my iPad," they're speaking figuratively.
CHEERS to my home district hero. I hate to gloat, but I don’t mind when it comes my congresscritter: Chellie Pingree is so awesome and I'm so fortunate to have a proud progressive representing my district (ME-01). Case in point: this fall Mainers will vote on marriage equality, and last week Chellie stood on the House floor and stated unequivocally where she stands:
"In my state of Maine there are thousands of couples in loving, committed, relationships. They share homes and they raise children together. They remain committed to each other through the ups and downs of life. But because they are same-sex couples, they are denied the right to honor their love and commitment to each other through marriage. This fall Maine will have a chance to change that, and to join a growing list of states around the country that are setting aside discrimination and granting all couples the same right to get married. We've made progress here in Congress on ending discriminatory practices like 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' But it will be up to us in Maine to bring marriage equality to our state. This us an issue of basic human rights and equal treatment under the law."
I still remember the days when the very idea of gay couples tying the knot was strictly played for either yuks or "yuck"s. So it's pretty cool to have a member of Congress, let alone several members, now standing up for it. Many thanks. Now, about our potholes…
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Five years ago in C&J: February 7, 2007
JEERS to the White House ATM. President Bush wants $700 billion more for our war-making machine. I say yes. But only if it's for 144,000 one-way tickets out of Iraq (and bottomless in-flight booze carts).
CHEERS to the real culture warriors (that's us, kids). Jonathan Singer at MyDD interviews Harry Reid, who confirms that blogs are poised to take over the universe:
"I think that the new world of blogs is good for our system. It's new for a lot of us. But it's not going to be anymore because it's so part of our culture. And I think that the people that read your blog should understand the power that they have, the power that did not exist even five years ago. People no longer say, "What was in the morning paper?" or "What was on last night's news?" Now they want to know what blogs have to say about this issue.
I say:
the pickled beet industry is corrupting our children and causing global warming! (And wait'll you hear my views on tort reform, Senator...)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to historic moments in getting caught. It wasn't Watergate or an adultery scandal, but I think today contains an anniversary worth noting with a hearty, "Heh." Two years ago today, while bamboozling a rapt Tea Party audience in Nashville, Sarah Palin got caught for the most juvenile of transgressions: writing cheat notes on her hand:
Energy
Budget Tax cuts
Lift American Spirits
Energy.
Budget Tax cuts. Lift American spirits. So complex were those concepts to the former half-term governor that she had to write them down. On her hand. Or, as EileenB said in the above diary, her "tele
palmter." We don’t say this to our right-wing friends nearly enough: thank you for the laughter.
Have a nice Tuesday. Enjoy your breakfast. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"We apologize for Bill in Portland Maine's inappropriate gesture that aired during halftime. It was a spontaneous gesture that our delay system caught late."
---Christopher McCloskey, NBC
2/5/12
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