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Hidee-ho everybody,
I just thought I would update everyone on the latest bit of silly goofiness that the Arizona State legislature is proposing.  You all know some of the other goofy little laws that have been passed here...that SB1070 law that helps Mexican and other non-Arizonans pack and move to better places...some new laws that will make the lives of happy workers better by eliminating their need to pay union dues.  Well guess what folks, I am super excited to say that there is another new law being proposed, one that will directly effect me.

This new law is a real whipper-snapper of an idea.  The cool new law will mandate that all teachers--even university teachers like myself--in the state of Arizona must follow the FCC guidelines on obscenity, indecency and profanity.  The best part is that it is written so spiffily that it actually applies all the time, not just when I am in a classroom. And let me say, I am so gosh darn angry about it, I just want to go kick those legislators in the behind and tell them to go fudge themselves.

This law is just such a bowl of sugar that I think I'll let you read it yourself.

Be it enacted by the Legislature of the State of Arizona:

Section 1.  Title 15, chapter 1, article 1, Arizona Revised Statutes, is amended by adding section 15-108, to read:

15-108.  Public classrooms; compliance with federal standards for media broadcasts concerning obscenity, indecency and profanity; violations; definition

A.  If a person who provides classroom instruction in a public school engages in speech or conduct that would violate the standards adopted by the federal communications commission concerning obscenity, indecency and profanity if that speech or conduct were broadcast on television or radio:

1.  For the first occurrence, the school shall suspend the person, at a minimum, for one week of employment, and the person shall not receive any compensation for the duration of the suspension.  This paragraph does not prohibit a school after the first occurrence from suspending the person for a longer duration or terminating the employment of that person.

2.  For the second occurrence, the school shall suspend the person, at a minimum, for two weeks of employment, and the person shall not receive any compensation for the duration of the suspension.  This paragraph does not prohibit a school after the second occurrence from suspending the person for a longer duration or terminating the employment of that person.

3.  For the third occurrence, the school shall terminate the employment of the person.  This paragraph does not prohibit a school after the first or second occurrence from terminating the employment of that person.

B.  For the purposes of this section, "public school" means a public preschool program, a public elementary school, a public junior high school, a public middle school, a public high school, a public vocational education program, a public community college or a public university in this state.

The most bull-do-do portion of the bill is this.  It doesn't say that teachers must obey FCC rules in the classroom...it says "a person who provides classroom instruction in a public school."  I do that...so in theory I need to follow FCC rules all the gosh-darn time. As written, even at home with my wife, I am gonna need to keep it all PG rated.  I guess we're gonna need to buy two single beds that we can place side-by-side, and I am gonna need to buy some pajamas.  That just sounds ducky, doesn't it?

As a college professor who teaches about human sexuality, race and other 'difficult' subjects, I will be completely fudged if I use the wrong language in my classes.  No more talking about the historical and linguistic uses of the n-word, or any other expletive.  No more of those exposed boobies in any artwork.  Basically, my classes are gonna be about as daring as your average episode of Glee.

Well, Suger, Urine, Fudge, Vjay-jay, oral sex on a man, person who has sex with their mother, and mammaries.  I guess I am gonna need to change the way I speak.  Cause my graduate students don't need me to teach them any naughty words or talk about naughty things.

At least I can still show images of people getting their fudging heads blown across the wall behind them or their fingers being crushed in a vice--cause that's all FCC approved.

The FCC has defined broadcast indecency as “language or material that, in context, depicts or describes, in terms patently offensive as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium, sexual or excretory organs or activities.

Originally posted to Empty Vessel on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 01:51 PM PST.

Also republished by Baja Arizona Kossacks.

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This whole idea of having college teachers follow FCC guidelines is...

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (19+ / 0-)

    "Empty vessels make the loudest sound, they have the least wit and are the greatest blabbers" Plato

    by Empty Vessel on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 01:51:18 PM PST

  •  Remember everyone (8+ / 0-)

    if you are an AZ teacher--keep it clean.  Anyone else though can use any words you want to, cause you have free speech rights and are among adults.

    "Empty vessels make the loudest sound, they have the least wit and are the greatest blabbers" Plato

    by Empty Vessel on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 01:52:59 PM PST

  •  Constitional? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, weck, mijita

    Doubt it.

    "TEABAGGER=Totally Enraged About Blacks And Gays Getting Equal Rights."

    by second gen on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 02:08:45 PM PST

    •  Actually, I'm not sure (6+ / 0-)

      Obviously they can't restrict my speech when I am not in the classroom, that's just a badly written section of the bill.

      But I think they can restrict my speech when I teach or am representing the University.

      the real problem here isn't that I can't say fuck in the classroom (I generally don't, but its been known to slip).

      The larger problem is the readings I assign.  Its the old "Huckleberry Finn" problem...or in my case readings about various sub-cultures where a term cannot be avoided.

      "Empty vessels make the loudest sound, they have the least wit and are the greatest blabbers" Plato

      by Empty Vessel on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 02:13:57 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Wow. Did I really spell that "Constitional"? (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ItsaMathJoke

      Oy.

      ConstitUTional

      "TEABAGGER=Totally Enraged About Blacks And Gays Getting Equal Rights."

      by second gen on Sun Feb 12, 2012 at 10:34:27 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  You had better not talk about the Repub primaries (6+ / 0-)

    the "S" word would get you fired for sure.

  •  Didn't I just see somewhere that the networks (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, mijita

    were challenging the FCC rules?  I didn't see a conclusion to that story , so it is probably still in process.  Maybe the FCC will drop their rules and this will become moot, although I doubt it, no agency likes to give up control, they will fight like hello to keep their power to fine language slip-ups.

    Now I remember, it was on Jon Stewart!

  •  Kind of makes you want to teach a course... (7+ / 0-)

    ...on the literature of George Carlin:

    Do you suppose Republican politicians hate people who work for a living because they've never done it themselves?

    by wiscmass on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 02:26:41 PM PST

  •  Gotta laugh at this one (6+ / 0-)

    I have to assume the law applies to a teacher's speech in the public school classroom. Otherwise, our crAZy legislators are going to spend a heck of a lot of time doing teacher surveillance.  

    If they do, they may get an earfull...At a recent happy hour with teacher friends (in Phoenix), the topic of discussion was blow-job technique.  

    In any case, my friends and I are in deep doo-doo. I just hope we get a fair trial. Ha! :)

  •  why worry about speech when you can carry a gun (8+ / 0-)

    to class?

  •  this from the 'get the government off our backs' (6+ / 0-)

    folks. bTW Lori Klein has also introduced a bill that would allow state law to cancel out/ override local laws and ordinances with regard to dogs.

    yes Lori doesn't think any dog should ever be forced to be on a leash, so her bill would make it OK for dogs to  be off leash, anywhere, anytime. Screw (i can say that ,I'm not a prof) the locals, the state wants those dogs to run where they will. Dogs and  Dogowners are so oppressed, you see.

    especially comforting about this bill is that one morning while you are sleepily hiking (and not cussing) along the city walkway, you could be accosted by Lori's dog, and when you finally find her and try  to speak to her about it, you'll get to talk to Lori's gun... what a nice world she's making for us all.....

    •  when accosted by her dog you shoot it in self (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      PSzymeczek

      defense...Perfectly legal and though sad for the dog, sometimes it;s the only answer....Living rural like I do I deal with the survivors of the city folk dumping their unwanted pets ....To run free ie get eaten by coyotes or shot by someone like me protecting their livestock.......

      Vaya con Dios Don Alejo
      I want to die a slave to principles. Not to men.
      Emiliano Zapata

      by buddabelly on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 05:24:29 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  scenarios (0+ / 0-)

        this legislation isn't just for rural areas, it is for urban and suburban areas as well.
        scenarios.
        I shoot attacking dog. dog owner, (who is usually just around the next bend in the path) shoots me

        I shoot dog. dog owner shoots at me but misses, hitting another dog. 2nd dog owner shoots at 1st dog owner but misses and hits my child. I shoot 2nd dog owner.

        I know, i'm exagerrating...

         this isn't a gun law ,but a 'don't bother to control your dog in public ' law. Lot's of folks already ignore ordinances and of those folks almost all of them believe they are in control of their dogs. i'm not a dog owner now ,but I was in the past. no dog owner 'likes' leash laws, but most of us understand that they are there for a good reason, whether it is to protect/respect  wildlife  , children and  others in our parks  and along our nature trails, to protecting our own dogs in densely populated, high traffic areas.  A lot of dog owners cannot believe their precious pet  would attack or threaten a person, even when  the deed has been done. The denial is incredible.

        i once had 2 WOLF hybrid dogs come around a corner and , blocking the path, bared their teeth and growled at me . this was in a city nature path.(I love dogs and speak their language, and these wolf/dogs were not going to let me move). a few minutes later a wispy new age woman came around the bend and saw how they had me cornered and said 'don't worry, they won't bite'.   I said, "I don't know these dogs ,I don't know that they won't bite." she shrugged and smirked..'what ever
        I know ,as you , that in rural areas you have to make tough choices. Abandoned dogs usually  won't last long. feral dogs and loose dogs can  do a lot of damage to,  other household pets, poultry, etc., even out here in coyote country.
        forget the fact that had i made a wrong move they would have done MORE than bite.Forget the fact that this woman had no business keeping two wolf hybrids in a densely populated urban  area, using the local park as their 'run wild ,run free' place.
        Over the years I have encountered growing militancy on the part of these dog owners, including another man with four large dogs who were digging and chasing  everything in the park,  who told me not to go to the effing park if I didn't like it. i'm sure these people all have a hero in Lori Klein.

        I have to believe even the insane  Republican legislature and 'buy my book' Brewer will see that this law is excessive and warped  state regulation, and let the local ordinances stand.

      •  test (0+ / 0-)

        test

        Vaya con Dios Don Alejo
        I want to die a slave to principles. Not to men.
        Emiliano Zapata

        by buddabelly on Sun Feb 12, 2012 at 01:05:41 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  You know, I have a rule for myself (4+ / 0-)

    that I don't make cracks about states other than my own. But in the past 24 months I've given that up because the government of the great state of Arizona is fucked up on an unbelievable level.

    Every time I think "this, this is the stupidest law ever proposed" Arizona's GOP lawmakers manage to make it past their own personal best.  

    Truly terrible.

    "There once was a union maid..." Political compass: -9.75 / -8.72

    by mijita on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 02:43:15 PM PST

  •  wow. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, mijita

    (1) it's bizarre that Arizona would want to outsource its determination of what is or isn't ok speech or behavior to the FCC.

    (2) ISTM that this would prohibit sexual relations, in the privacy of your own home, with your spouse. That can't possibly be constitutional (as applied).

  •  But in English Only (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, Azazello

    I don't think there are FCC prohibitions against saying these words in languages other than English. The Spanish equivalents would be especially fitting in our state, but any language would do, preferably one that's close enough to suggest the English without it being mistaken for English. There is a series of books, Dirty Spanish/French/German/etc that provide everyday slang, insults, and explicatives. The newer editions even include the relevant texting abbreviations. It's time to get creative.

  •  fuck that shit. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, PSzymeczek

    right?

    A man, a plan, a canal, Panama

    by Karl Rover on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 04:53:41 PM PST

  •  frackin ridiculous....... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, PSzymeczek

    Vaya con Dios Don Alejo
    I want to die a slave to principles. Not to men.
    Emiliano Zapata

    by buddabelly on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 05:25:21 PM PST

  •  Fixed your tags with "can't spell CRAZY w/o R-AZ" (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel

    You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!

    by Cartoon Peril on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 07:46:51 PM PST

  •  Tell AZ legislature: "Kiss my donkey!" (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Empty Vessel, PSzymeczek

    You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect!

    by Cartoon Peril on Sat Feb 11, 2012 at 09:57:02 PM PST

  •  Remember (0+ / 0-)

    I can call them "dicks" in front of my class.  I can call Jan Brewer a "stupid bint".  I can call them any variety of non-English expletives.

    All of which are legal according to this law since it is linked to FCC regs.

    I'll always be...King of Bain...I'll always be...King of Bain

    by AZphilosopher on Thu Feb 16, 2012 at 06:33:56 PM PST

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