America used to be a simpler place.
Back in the day, a girl could just take a Bayer aspirin and strategically insert it between her knees to prevent getting pregnant.
But flash forward to 2012—the "Year of the Bible."
Girls are growing up much faster nowadays, and they're increasingly choosing to reject that time-honored method of birth control.
Suddenly, they're kissing each other on national TV, flaunting their naughty bits on the covers of men's magazines, and generally running around like dogs in heat.
And you know who's responsible for this moral decline?
Could it be... SATAN?!
Morning lineup:
Meet the Press: Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD); Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI); Roundtable: Republican Strategist Ed Gillespie, Al Hunt (Bloomberg News), Helene Cooper (New York Times) and Andrea Mitchell (NBC News).
Face the Nation: Former Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA); Romney Biographer Michael Kranish; Roundtable: Norah O'Donnell (CBS News), John Dickerson (CBS News), Karen Tumulty (Washington Post) and Todd Spangler (Detroit Free Press).
This Week: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ); Obama Campaign Senior Adviser Robert Gibbs; Roundtable: George Will (Washington Post), Jonathan Karl (ABC News), Lou Dobbs (Fox Business Network), Dee Dee Myers (Vanity Fair) and Clarence Page (Chicago Tribune).
Fox News Sunday: Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA); House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA); Roundtable: Kimberly Strassel (Wall Street Journal), Former Howard Dean Campaign Manager Joe Trippi, Republican Strategist Karl Rove and Kristen Powers (The Daily Beast).
State of the Union: Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX); Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels (R); Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN); Former CIA Director Michael Hayden; Former US Ambassador to Egypt and Israel Ed Walker; Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz; Reliable Sources: Frank Bruni (New York Times); Jennifer Rubin (Washington Post); Scott Conroy (Real Clear Politics); David Carr (New York Times); Vince Coglianese (Daily Caller); Andrea McCarren (Washington CBS Affiliate); Buzz Bissinger (Vanity Fair).
The Chris Matthews Show: Liz Marlantes (Christian Science Monitor); Michael Duffy (TIME); Major Garrett (National Journal); Kelly O'Donnell (NBC News).
Fareed Zakaria GPS: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Martin Dempsey; Author Gordon Chang; James Fallows (The Atlantic); Harvard Professor Roderick MacFarquhar.
Up with Chris Hayes: Author Wallace Shawn; Heather McGhee (Demos); Jeff Greenfield (Formerly of CBS News); Chrystia Freeland (Reuters); Sam Seder (Majority Report).
Melissa Harris-Perry: Pennsylvania University Professor Anthea Butler; New York University Professor Kenji Yoshino; Former South Carolina GOP Chair Katon Dawson.
Evening lineup:
60 Minutes will feature: a report on a program designed to help the long-term unemployed back into the workplace (preview); an interview with a Harvard psychologist who says it's the placebo effect that makes people taking anti-depressants feel better (preview); and, an interview with Grandmaster Magnus Carlsen, the number one chess player in the world (preview).
Virtually Speaking Sundays on Blog Talk Radio will feature: Daily Kos' own Joan McCarter discussing the news of the week with Stuart Zechman.
You may also be interested in:
Monday night, PBS' American Experience will kick off its 24th season with "Clinton"—a biography of our 42nd President.
On Comedy Central:
Jon Stewart examined the morally bankrupt ad war taking place between Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum.
The Daily Show
Monday: Political Researchers Alan Huffman & Michael Rejebian
Tuesday: Former Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI)
Wednesday: TBA
Thursday: Actor Paul Rudd
And before departing the airwaves for reasons uncertain (reportedly concerning his sick mother), Stephen Colbert stepped into the controversy surrounding President Obama's birth control mandate.
The Colbert Report
Monday: Ann Patchett (Parnassus Books)
Tuesday: Robert Kagan (Brookings Institution)
Wednesday: House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
Thursday: Opera Singer Placido Domingo
Elsewhere...
Red State founder/CNN contributor Erick Erickson filed a report on the debaucherous behavior he witnessed at CPAC last weekend.
Being the good, intrepid blogger, I ran across the street to a CVS to buy a notepad, having left mine in my office back in Macon, GA. There in line were a half dozen young men, each with CPAC credentials around their necks and each buying condoms.
That is part of life on the college circuit. Young men, regardless of political persuasion or ideology, are intent on having sex, being boys, getting drunk — doing what young men in college often do. All to often there are also a few young ladies willing to shame their parents if their parents only knew.
Meanwhile...
Fox News contributor Liz Trotta was neither surprised nor concerned by reports of women in the military being raped too much.
"But while all of this is going on, just a few weeks ago, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta commented on a new Pentagon report on sexual abuse in the military. I think they have actually discovered there is a difference between men and women. And the sexual abuse report says that there has been, since 2006, a 64% increase in violent sexual assaults. Now, what did they expect? These people are in close contact, the whole airing of this issue has never been done by Congress, it’s strictly been a question of pressure from the feminist.
And the feminists have also directed them, really, to spend a lot of money. They have sexual counselors all over the place, victims’ advocates, sexual response coordinators. … So, you have this whole bureaucracy upon bureaucracy being built up with all kinds of levels of people to support women in the military who are now being raped too much."
And, in other news...
Amid increasing chatter about the possibility of a brokered GOP convention, Sarah Palin stands ready to take one for the team.
"If one of the nominees, one of the GOPers, doesn't get enough delegates, it could go to a brokered convention," said Fox Business Network's Eric Bolling in an interview. "If it does get to that, and someone said, 'Governor, would you be interested,' would you be interested?"
"For one, I think that it could get to that…If it had to be closed up today, the whole nominating process, then we could be looking at a brokered convention…Nobody is quite there yet, so I think that months from now, if that is the case, all bets are off as to who it will be, willing to offer up themselves up in their name in service to their country."
"I would do whatever I could to help," she added, her voice rising.
Hit me baby, one more time.
- Trix