Skip to main content

And I saw when the Lamb opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a white horse: and he that sat on him had a trust fund; and a Super PAC was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and yet failed epically.

And when he had opened the second seal, I heard the second beast say, Come and see. And there went out another horse that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take sex from the earth, and that they should kill homosexuals: and there was given unto him a great sweater vest.

And when he had opened the third seal, I heard the third beast say, Come and see. And I beheld, and lo a black horse; and he that sat on him had a pair of balances in his hand. And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts say, A measure of wheat for a gold coin, and three measures of barley for a gold coin; and see thou abhorest fiat currency.

And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale amphibian: and his name that sat on him was Newt, and Callista followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fortieth part of the GOP electorate, to defraud with DVD, and with books, and with lecture fees, and with phony awards.

And when he had opened the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of them that were voting in the GOP primaries, and in the caucuses which they held: And they cried with a loud voice, saying, How long, O Lord, holy and true, dost thou withhold sending us a True Conservative candidate?

And pandering statements were given unto every one of them; and it was said unto them, that they should rest yet for a little season, until their convention was held, and a True Conservative appeareth thereat.

And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and, lo, there was a great landslide; and the President became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon had no colonies; And the stars of Hollywood contributed to his campaign, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind.

And the heaven departed as a touch screen when it is pinched by John King; and every state and district were of a deep blue. And the kings of the earth, and the great men, and the rich men, and the chief captains, and the GOP House leadership, and every GOP Senator, and every Tea Bagger, hid themselves in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains; And said to the mountains and rocks, Fall on us, and hide us from the face of him that sitteth in the Oval Office, and from the wrath of Obama: For the great day of his reelection is come; and who shall be able to stand?

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site