Newt: Afghanistan is like a wife with cancer. No, hear me out on this ...
(Jeff Haynes/Reuters)
Newt Gingrich is every bit as good a diplomat as he is a historian. Campaigning in Tennessee today, here's
his suggested parting advice for the people of Afghanistan:
”What you have to do is say, ‘You know, you’re going to have to figure out how to live your own miserable life… Because you clearly don’t want to learn from me how to be unmiserable.’”
Translation: You were supposed to be a hell of a lot more grateful than this. So piss off. Now we're not going to teach you how to summon the magical democracy fairies.
Ah, the Pasty Man's Burden. And Republican foreign policy in a nutshell. And Newt Gingrich in a nutshell. Once an existential crisis, Afghanistan has now been relegated to ex-wife status.
Oh well. At least he recognizes we should leave, even if we haven't been able to fully bomb them into liking us yet.