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Now that Mitt is back on top, what could he do to clear the path to the convention?

Why not buy off his pesky primary challengers with promises of future jobs in a Romney Presidency?

Here’s what that could look like:

Rick Santorum – Health and Human Services Secretary
While working diligently to dismantle “Obamacare,” Secretary Santorum could establish an Office of Abstinence and Non-Contraceptive Family Planning to promote marriage-only sex and Catholic-approved birth control.

Ron Paul – Federal Reserve Chairman
Ben Bernanke’s term ends January 31, 2014 and though Paul will be a ripe 79, he’d certainly have the energy to fulfill his lifelong dream of returning U.S. currency to the Gold Standard.

Newt Gingrich – Environmental Protection Agency Administrator
Here’s Newt’s chance to apply private-sector solutions by putting cutting-edge-technology corporations in charge of cleaning the nation’s air and water while doing away – once and for all – with job-killing government bureaucracy.

Finally, to reward her early departure from the race – and in the interest of gender balance – President Romney could make Michele Bachmann the nation’s Attorney General.

Think about that.

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