Mitt Romney cannot seem to beat the rap that he is unable to connect with the "average American", that he is aloof, cold, wooden, even robotic. Recently John Sununu tried to defend Romney from those accusations, saying:
He just sits down and is cold and clinical and analytical,” said John H. Sununu, a former governor of New Hampshire and a Romney adviser who has spent hours with him on the campaign trail. “People sometimes criticize him for not being able to deliver the high rhetoric or the passionate phrase, but they ought to understand that his strength is that he’s able to maintain an even keel at all times.
More over the ochre wiring.
In other words, Sununu tried to turn Romney's perceived weakness - being cold and robotic - into a strength, saying it equals "maintaining an even keel".
Now Romney's campaign seems to be doubling down on that strategy, in a rather startling way.
According to an unnamed staffer, Romney is so "calculating, logical, and rational" because, when working at Bain Capital, Romney had in fact received a "very small computer chip implant in his brain to help him accomplish his work in the most cost efficient and timely manner."
The anonymous aide said that Bain Capital represented a very demanding work environment, and quoted an internal Bain management memo which stated that:
Bain employees succeed when they demonstrate they are part of high-caliber teams with industry experience and a consistent ability to deliver results. Our operational activities, valuable commercial relationships, and technological advantages are our greatest assets.
The staffer claimed that in order to gain an edge in such a competitive corporate environment
Mitt Romney decided that he would take advantage of the most sophisticated microchip devices available. The chip would allow him to perform complex financial computations at a high rate of speed, and prevent him from considering any extraneous and time-consuming deviations, such as the human cost entailed in his fiscal transactions.
Romney's staffer claims that the device is safe and innocuous:
After having the device implantated, connective tissue formed to prevent the microchip's migration. The entire procedure was, in fact, very simple and low-cost.The microchip is approximately the size of a grain of rice, and is coated with a synthetic polymer.
The Romney aide added that "very few" actions taken by Romney after the microchip was implanted can be credited to the device
either malfunctioning or overriding normal human compassion in inappropriate circumstances. The episode when Mr. Romney strapped his family dog Seamus to the roof of his car for 12 hours was one such unfortunate malfunction. His statement that he is "not concerned about the very poor" is another. Other than those, quite minor episodes, it is only his general policy prescriptions and overall political orientation that can said to have been influenced by this extraordinary technological improvement over typical human cognitive functioning.
The campaign expressed confidence that Romney's microchip will in fact
only help him invest an adequate amount of funds in the appropriate states at the proper moment to assure his victory in the GOP primary race.