Mary Matalin: Romney has ‘heart and soul’ of an average American
Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney may have a net worth of a quarter of a billion dollars, but he has the “heart and soul” of an average American, according to GOP strategist Mary Matalin.
Now for the first time proof that Mitt does have the “heart and soul” of an average American.
(1) One Highly worn heart and soul of an average American. Formerly Owned by Mitt Romeny for sale.
Now you can own it! It's on ebay for sell!
Mitt Romeny, revealed his possesion of this item as part of a series series of tone-deaf attempts to relate to average Americans.
In June, he told a group of unemployed people in Florida that he was “also unemployed.”
Returning to Florida in September, the candidate claimed that he was part of the middle class. Rommey is worth 250 million.
Romney told a group of workers at a steel plant in November that federal employees made more than he did. He has also said that he knows “what it’s like to worry whether you’re going to get fired.”
During a January debate in South Carolina, Romney encouraged voters to send him to Washington because he had “lived in the real streets of America.”
March- In what some political observers are calling a possible gaffe on the part of the former Massachusetts governor, Mitt Romney told a crowd gathered for a World Wrestling Entertainment event in Ohio today, “I love poor people. They taste like chicken.” (Borowitz Report)
Mitt Romney recently said that he possessed the Heart and Soul of an American. It turns out it's true! We have recently come into possession of this very heart that Governer Romney kept under his bed, in a jar, for luck.
Mitt's spokeman explained that this was an attempt to show that Mitt is "one of us"
According to GOP strategist Mary Matalin.
"You know, one thing he needs to do is quit being defensive about it,” Matalin explained. “This is an aspirational country. His first calculation to be defensive about it is why he keeps getting stuck in it. When he says, ‘I’m an American success story and Bain [Capital] is an American success story’ — and he should pivot to: ‘If we had less of a regulatory and a tax labyrinth, you could be an American success story too.’ Less regulation means everyone could own heart and soul in a jar”
This heart was originally destined to the Overlords of Kolub, the Supreme Masters of the Cosmos, but was shipped to us by mistake! Now due to this shipping error, we can offer this UNPRESIDENTED heart and soul on eBay!
Due to delivery error though it has ended up here on ebay.
Mitts plan of a new era of properity is though the mass export of hearts and souls to planet Kolub. Mitt feels thousands of jobs can be created through the new industry of harvesting hearts and souls.
The new industry will both take care of unemployment and of the weak, infirm, those without healthcare or anyone that just can't run fast enough.
Part of Mitt's economic stimulus is that eventually every family in American will get their own Heart and Soul in a jar, for free. All each family has to do is select one family memebr to donate.
Bain Capital has already promised starter seed money as soon as Mitt gets elected.
By buying this heart, you have a chance to regain the heart and soul of America, for your very own.
This Heart and Soul comes encased in mystical glass and alchemical fluids, for years of enjoyment.
Percentage of proceeds will go to the Obama campaign fund.
Ebay Item:
http://cgi.ebay.com/...