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Just heard about comedian Jeff Foxworthy stumping with GOP front-limper Mitt Romney in Mississippi and Alabama and find myself wondering just how much that's going to help the Massachusetts Moderate Mormon Mittron among my Deep South brothers and sisters.

Because, after all. . .

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you know how many Cadillacs your wife drives.

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you don't need a pet carrier on the car; that's what the truck bed's for.

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you agree corporations are people; they're like your shiftless cousins who aren't welcome for the holidays.          

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you, too, have money in the Caymans. As in, "I swear I'll pay you next week. 'kay, man?"

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you actually know what "living without a bathroom" can mean.

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you only claim one home state, and not all the time.

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you'd like to fire people, but can't afford to hire 'em.


                          etc., etc., etc

I'm sure y'all can think of more. The point is that there is little that is less effective in ginning up cred among the folks 'round these parts than spray tans, spotless Carhartts and fellers who can't do their own chores.

And hiring a Comedy Central Official Redneck sorta gives away that game.

Especially as. . .

You may be a redneck if. . .
                  , , , you know there's no "y" in "cheese grits."


Update: Del knows what I'm talkin' 'bout...

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