From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
"Name That Duck" Contest Starts NOW!
"You know, the thing about a rubber ducky...he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living...until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then...ah, then you hear that terrible high-pitched squeakin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many rubber duckies, maybe a thousand…"
---Quint in Jaws
Just kidding. Everyone knows that was really Helen Mirren in
The Queen. But anyway, my point is, C&J's mascot needs a name---a really awesome name---and I'm prepared to feather the nest of the lucky duck who comes up with it.
C&J's banner logo is the creation of Miles Kurland, aka Kossack Malacandra, aka the genius behind the Goposaur and countless other works of art, both serious and snarky. I love it. It's a logo that says, "Leave your frown at the door," "Immaturity has its place in political analysis," and "Squeaky Squeak!" My language.
So it's time you gave the old bird a name. And to the winner goes the spoils: a complete set of official 2012 White House Easter Eggs:
The official 2012 White House Easter Egg, which is crafted from FSC-certified U.S. hardwood, comes in four unique colors and includes the stamped signatures of the President and First Lady. BONUS: A special edition "Bo" Egg is included. The National Park Foundation produces and sells the official White House Easter Egg to help support the annual White House Easter Egg Roll on the White House South Lawn, which is one of our country's nearly 400 national parks.
The rules are simple: Email me your suggested name for the C&J rubber duck mascot (one entry per person) to
bipm04103@yahoo.com (or via the DKos message system). I'll pick the top 5 suggestions and you, the unwashed Kossack horde, will vote for the final winner via a C&J poll.
The contest runs from now through 12:59:59 PM Sunday. The top 5 entries will be voted on by you next Tuesday.
Good Luck! Or should I say, Good Duck! Ha Ha Ha Ha….and etc.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Note: Today is Tuesday the 13th. Not as unlucky as its Friday cousin, but to be safe we recommend you keep your lead-lined parasol handy.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til St. Patrick's Day: O'Four
Days 'til the 2012 Nebraska Book Festival in Lincoln: 18
Percent of readers of The Portland Press Herald who aren’t surprised that the New Orleans Saints paid players extra for deliberately injuring opposing players: 58%
Length of time James Cameron plans to spend collecting samples at the bottom of the "Mariana Trench," the world's deepest ocean depth (7 miles), next month: 6 hours
The last year in which humans dove to that depth: 1960
(Source: geek.com)
Percent of Americans who believed the quality of their healthcare would go down as a result of the Affordable Care Act in 2010: 47%
Percent who believe that now: 32%
(Source: AP GfK poll)
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
I call upon the President to denounce his supporters’ hateful violent rhetoric, to promise not to engage in or encourage it again, and to apologize to Limbaugh for stirring up this cesspit of hatred among his followers. A President is supposed to lead, not incite violence.
---Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit
All together now: 1…2…3…
Classy!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: To quote Zen Master Rick Perry: "Oops."
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CHEERS to civic duty day. I have to say it's been weird living the primary season vicariously through the Republican lens, because this is the message my antennae have been picking up from them:
"It's 2000 in America again, my friends. You have full knowledge of how the following 8 years unfolded. I promise to repeat those eight years. Vote for me and together we can embark on a new future as awesome as the old one."
Today voters in Mississippi, Alabama, American Samoa and Hawaii will pull the lever for the candidate who best represents the promise of a new yesterday tomorrow. As Dan Quayle once said when he blundered into an epiphany: "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." The modern-day GOP doesn’t look back on him all that fondly. Too intellectual. But my main point is: Ruck 'em, Ricky!
CHEERS to tonight's main event besides the primary results. The place: MSNBC. The time: 9 O'clock. The snack: nachos and cheese. The matchup: Maddow vs. Senator James Inhofe (R-OK). The arena of contention: global warming. The bad pun: Stand back---it could get heated.
CHEERS to March Madness! It's starts today in Dayton, Ohio with the "First Four":
Tonight
6:40pm---Mississippi Valley St. vs. WKU
9:10pm---BYU vs. Iona
Tomorrow
6:40pm---Lamar vs. Vermont
9:10---California vs. South Florida
I kinda feel bad for the NCAA---the poor dears will only make, says
USA Today, a cool $10.8 billion over the next dozen years. But whatever---ladies and gentlemen, start your brackets! Here's how it works: it begins with 68, which gets whittled down to one. Or as it's known in Wisconsin: Scott Walker's approval rating.
CHEERS to the little planet that tried but couldn't. On March 13, 1930, astronomers informed the world they had discovered Pluto. Unable to handle the fame that followed, the ball of rock and ice with the eccentric (read: emotionally unstable) orbit ended up on the drunken-party circuit with the cast of Jersey Shore and was publicly canned. Oh, well...it can always host infomercials.
JEERS to Liar Liar Pants on Fire. We've pretty much got our governor here in Maine pegged: he tries to rule our universe through hard-right belligerence, impatience, class warfare (him against the poor, of course), secrecy and sheer dishonesty. He's literally trying to run the government like a business---a business run by the boss from hell. The latest dustup: the salt-of-the-earth northern town of Millinocket is calling him out without any hint at decorum:
Gov. Paul LePage is a bully who might be violating state law by withholding from Millinocket about $216,000 in state aid, angry Town Council members said during a meeting on Thursday. Councilors accused LePage of lying in an attempt to cower them into something they never agreed to: a multiyear partnership operating the Dolby landfill, which LePage spokeswoman Adrienne Bennett said that town leaders agreed to and then opted out of.
“What the governor said through his spokeswoman is a lie. It is not an error. It is a lie,” Councilor Michael Madore said Thursday. “I find the man to be a bully. I find him to be someone who is used to getting his own way, and in this case … . We did not make any commitment to partner with them on the landfill.”
“The governor is robbing our children of their educational opportunities in this town just to operate a dump, a dump we do not own,” Madore added.
Just a suggestion, but when you've pissed just about every constituency off, you probably don’t want to be starting fights involving the word "dump." But thanks for planting the seed.
CHEERS to great inventions. On this date in 1877, Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine got his patent for a new device called "earmufflers". Most people wear them to keep out the cold. Conservatives wear them to keep out the truth.
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Five years ago in C&J: March 13, 2007
JEERS to cleaning house. What the traditional media won’t tell you is that, in addition to firing all 93 U.S. attorneys, the White House wanted them sedated, stuffed into a box, and fired into space. Oh, and also to sign a purity pledge. Great idea, Ms. Schlafly.
CHEERS to doing the right thing. Here we go again: another pharmacist caught denying a woman access to the morning-after pill. Kudos to Kroger for laying down the law (via CNN):
"We believe that medication is a private patient matter," said Meghan Glynn, a Kroger spokeswoman. "Our role as a pharmacy operator is to furnish medication in accordance with the doctor's prescription or as requested by a patient."
Meanwhile, the number of complaints about patients not being able to get their Viagra prescriptions filled has risen to...zero.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the invisible candidate. Interesting development in the wake of Ohio's Super Tuesday primary election from last week. All across the 2nd Congressional District in the southern part of the state, voices are crying out, "Who is John Galt William R. Smith?!!" Democrat Smith beat his opponent, David Krikorian literally without lifting a finger. Weirdest damn thing! Most people say his win can be attributed to mysterious and probably illegal robo-calls promoting him. But Linda at LezGetReal.com says Smith might've been helped by the backlash against a certain war on labor currently being waged by Republicans in the state:
Smith graduated from Glenwood High School in Canton in 1960 and is a retired tool grinder and abrasive specialist from the Timken Company. He was a member of the United Steelworkers of America for 12 years and served a three-year apprenticeship at Timken, ending in 1963. He attended the U.S. Army Aviation School in 1963 and the Air National Guard NCO Academy in 1970. […]
That little bit in his bio about having been a member of the United Steelworkers Union might have been the deciding factor for some voters. All the attention paid to the Ohio Republican presidential primary put a lot of reporters in the state, and that means they had time to ask a lot of questions of voters. What they heard from independent voters was as important as what they heard from Republicans. They don’t like Governor John Kasich. […]
Jay McDonald, president of the Ohio Fraternal Order of Police, told reporters that many of the Republican members of his union have changed parties because of that law, and the others around the country. “I’ve got lots and lots of guys who said because of the continued attacks on the unions, they no longer consider themselves to be Republicans.” The police are not the only ones. The sentiment is widespread across the public sector and among other union members in the state.
Fascinating…and deadly for the GOP if true. In November Mr. Everyman will face off against the guy who beat Mean Jean Schmidt in the primary last week. I hope he wins, because I just thought up the perfect morning-after headline all by myself: "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington!" Catchy, huh?
Have a nice Tuesday, y'all...by which of course I mean "you all" as in all of you assembled here with your bellies full of grits and cheesy foodstuffs which you consume for your sustenance in this general region, at least according to the team owners I spoke with this morning at brunch. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"I'm learning to say 'Swoosh Gong' and I like Bill in Portland Maine. Strange things are happening to me."
---Mitt Romney
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