The title of this diary is borrowed from an inspiring comment in another diary.
Julie Waters posted an optomistic diary today titled It. Gets. Worse.
http://www.dailykos.com/...
And Freadom posted this powerful comment:
My son is involved in his campus pride group. I was proud to hear that they decided their theme for the spring event was not merely "It Gets Better" but "Make It Better" - l love the positive agency in this statement - get engaged, get these stupid bigoted laws changed, and go on and lead the life you want to.
I too love the positive nature of this theme. I'm a pretty introverted person; my natural inclination is to be cautious, not to get involved, not to confront people. However there are occasions when it is impossible not to speak out no matter how uncomfortable it is.
We are members of a Presbyterian (USA) congregation (not to be confused with more conservative versions of Presbyterians), a denomination that has been making slow but steady progress to accept and welcome gays. Presbyterians do things "decently and in order". The denomination is governed through democratic principles rather than hierarchical authority. When the General Assembly meets, congregations send delegates, and every delegate has an opportunity to participate in the democratic process of selecting leaders and policies. Hence making progress on marriage equality in the church mirrors the process of making progress through government. That is, it is about changing minds on the local level, the people you know and see as you go about your daily living.
We have a older couple in our church who have been outspoken in opposition to the direction the church has been moving. I would call them more fearful than bigoted. They believe that the Bible says that homosexuality is a sin. Ours is a largish church and I do not know the husband and have had limited contact with the wife. If you met her, you would get an impression of innocence, sweetness, and a cheerful disposition. I was vaguely aware of their attitude, but had never been directly confronted with it. However, after the recent General Assembly move to accept gays as pastors, they sent out a letter in opposition. I am not sure of the full list to whom the letter went, but I was on the list and when I got it I knew I had to respond, but how? I wanted to make a thoughtful reply, one that might make the situation better, not worse. So, I wrote her a letter, the text of which follows.
You recently sent out a letter in which you expressed your view that homosexuality is a sin and that our denomination is wrong to accept homosexuals into ministry. I am reluctant to respond because I know you are a good person and I am a person who seeks community, not divisiveness. However a cousin of one of my daughter’s friends was recently murdered because he was gay and I will feel complicit in his death and in the deaths and suffering of others like him if I do not speak out.
In addition, I have a niece who is gay and her partner of many years is a minister in the Church of Christ, currently serving a congregation in Pennsylvania. Her father is a retired Methodist minister and he and her mother have worked tirelessly with other parents of gay children to have them accepted for the wonderful people that they are. I am reluctant to let attacks on the character of this family, who have been faithful servants of Christ and whom I respect and admire, be met with silence.
While I believe that the Bible reflects the core teachings of Jesus and the nature of God, I also believe that it represents the time and culture in which it was written and I believe that God has continued to communicate his message to us in many ways over the centuries. Although there are a few verses in the Bible that could be interpreted to condemn homosexuality, there are also verses that were used to justify slavery and the abuse of women and children, to bar women from leadership positions in the church, to exclude people who had been divorced and to shame and punish unwed mothers and their children. All things we no longer accept as true to the Gospel.
The current consensus among scholars is that sexual orientation is not a choice. Professor Michael King stated, "The conclusion reached by scientists who have investigated the origins and stability of sexual orientation is that it is a human characteristic that is formed early in life, and is resistant to change. Scientific evidence on the origins of homosexuality is considered relevant to theological and social debate because it undermines suggestions that sexual orientation is a choice." The writers of the Bible did not understand the true nature of homosexuality any more than they understood that the earth revolves around the sun, not the other way around.
Consider the position of Tony Jones, a Baptist minister who wrote a paper on Biblical views of homosexuality, including an examination of the Hebrew and Greek texts, cultural differences, and broader contexts. His conclusion was that there are only a few texts that can be considered as dealing with homosexual behavior and that the types of same-sex behaviors that are being condemned in these passages are not equivalent to "sexual orientation."
The textual and cultural contexts of the various passages can be linked to acts of pagan worship, prostitution, or sex with minors, acts which are also condemned when associated with heterosexual sex. In his view, the Bible does not address mutually-respectful, loving, committed relationships between members of the same gender. He believes that to Jesus, social mores, customs, and even religious laws were secondary to the command to love God and to love our neighbor. He is convinced that there are homosexual relationships that God smiles on, just as there are heterosexual relationships that make God weep.
I agree with his comments. I think that what counts is not a person’s sexual orientation, but a person’s character and that if God calls a person who happens to be a homosexual into the ministry, we should honor that call and join with God’s servant in Christian community. Attached is information about the first openly gay minister to be ordained in PC (USA). He is a man who answered a call from God and who has faithfully served him for many years.
Although we do not agree on the issue, my conscience would not allow me to remain silent. I hope you can respect another point of view.
The letter addresses this specific situation, and I continue to do what I can to change minds whenever I can. I did not receive a response to the letter and have not yet had an opportunity for personal contact. Even though we may never know if our attempts to change minds are successful, if we don't try how will we "Make it Better"? Thanks for the inspiration from Julie Waters and Freadom to keep trying.