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Mitt Romney
"I enjoy anecdotes about firing people." (Shannon Stapleton/Reuters)
Mitt Romney, bonding with the Wisconsin locals by way of conference call from Dallas, Texas:
Romney said he has some connections to Wisconsin.

“One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors …  They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,” said Romney. “And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”

Romney said he recalled a parade in which the school band marching with his father’s campaign only knew the Wisconsin fight song, not the Michigan song.

“So every time they would start playing ‘On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin,” said Romney, laughing.

"Hello, human Wisconsin voters! I have a humorous anecdote to be related. My father once shut down a factory in Michigan, which was beneficial to the people of your state since you are not from Michigan. Then he ran for governor of Michigan and—you will like this, humans, because it is humorous—during one parade the children in the local marching band only knew how to play a song from your state, Wisconsin, as opposed to the state of Michigan where my father was attempting to gain higher office. This led to some unpleasantries because my father did not wish to bring further attention to his laying off of workers from the state he was now suggesting he lead. Is that not humorous? Yes, screw Michigan, am I right? Now that they have already voted, I can safely say that your state of Wisconsin is a much better state. Your cheese is quite definitely of the correct height. My parental unit was correct in transferring employment opportunities to your state instead of filthy Michigan, where the children do not even know the correct songs."

And, scene.

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