What with all the religiosity going on here lately, I felt compelled to write and offer an example of getting along. This example coming from my own marriage. In many ways it mirrors the many divisions regarding religion here, and I would hope my writing of it might give some insight into how to approach one another here.
Join me below the orange pew for more.
My wife and I were married in a court house almost thirteen years ago. We've been married twelve years.....
Yes I know, the math doesn't add up. We don't count the first year for reasons I'll delve into later.
We got married in that court house a week before we were set to move down to Bloomington Indiana. Married in front of a judge, one court worker, and a scant few family. My parents beaming, her parents looking like they were attending a funeral. It was a shotgun style wedding having been planned in the span of a week. No honeymoon, I literally went to work the following day.
You see, this was all in preparation for my new position that I was taking down south. We had been engaged for almost two years by this point and I had been working as an assistant manager at this one retail outlet. And this retail outlet had just offered me a chance to manage a brand spanking new store down south in Bloomington.
It was a massive leap in pay for starters. They were going to offer an advance, moving expenses and I would have total control over store layout, items, etc... It was a dream chance and I decided to jump in feet first.
So the day it was offered to me I went to visit my then fiance at her parents house where she was living for a minute, having taken a break from college. I told her what was offered to me and that I had planned to take it. I ask her to follow me. Through some unique conversation, we decided to marry and move down south.
Now we had been dating for some time obviously, and as someone who is dating another person you always think you 'know' that person. We were in for a rude awaking once we finally moved in together however. You see there is just something 'different' about being 'with' someone and 'living' with that said someone.
We were literally polar opposites as I've described in previous diaries. She having come from a moderately fundamental christian home, I having come from a home of parents who REALLY 'lived' the seventies. So you can imagine what sort of tensions could evolve when you cram two people with totally ideologically different attitudes under the same roof.
Now you might understand why we don't count that first year.
I look back on these thirteen years though and I often wonder, as does she, how we get along? What I mean is that how do we make things work on a day to day basis when we're so different.
After twelve years I think I finally got it.
Ultimately when we see each other through our eyes, everything else melts away. Any quirks, traits, ideological leanings, etc.. melt away. I only see a woman I fell in love with. I woman I care for and would do anything for. I woman for whom after that first miserable year begged to move back near home, that I called my boss that same day and informed him I was given him a four week notice. (The fact he screwed me out of a 30k bonus made the decision a little easier though)
Which brings me to my point of the diary. Perhaps the folks who have religion here, and the folks that do not, could maybe when we look at each other here just let everything melt away and see the person for who they are and why we are all here.
We're here as a community, to help one another, to inspire and love. We are all here to help promote progressive ideas, politics and champion the politicians who will unite with us in those common causes.
Will we have our spats amongst ourselves? Of course! Just like a marriage, we'll have our moments where perhaps we could have been just a little better as a person. But however, I'll close with some advise my Grandmother gave me before my wife and I wed.
"You can occasionally get angry at each other if you want, just don't do it on the same day"