Suck on this, Friedman. The Mustache Hisself has rightly earned the title Wanker of the Decade! It's pretty simple really: people take him seriously, but he is a self-aggrandizing windbag. Righties think he's a liberal, and he showed the world how intelligent he is by backing the most heinous, pointless, rotten war in American history.
Be sure to throw a little PayPal Donation Atrios's way to support the ten years of awesome suckiness he has waded through for our delight and edification!
UPDATE: First runner-up is Fred Hiatt. Happy Blogiversary, Atrios. That you for reliving the horror but tomorrow's just a day away. Just one more wanker to relive from this wankerous decade ... !
UPDATE: 2nd Runner-Up is Sully. Did not see that coming, but Mr. Black is spot effing on! In the days after 9/11, Sully referred to DFH's as a "fifth column" against American interests - when history has shown that it was his ilk, the "moderates" and "serious" people - who gave cover to lying liars who squandered American blood and treasure on pointless endless war.
Below the fold, and for your delight and edification, I have organized links to the Wankers of the Decade posts, along with some excerpts. Fresh updates as they come ...
I have been a loyal reader of Atrios's "sucky blog" ever since the Internets. I am really enjoying his recap of the Wankers of the Decade. Even though it is clearly - clearly! - painful for him to relive these rotten times and pollute his beautiful mind with thoughts of these episodes of serial wankery.
I don't think there's much suspense in the upcoming posts - he basically said before he started he thought Fred Hiatt was Wanker of the Decade. BoBo has yet to make his appearance, also too The Mustache of Wisdom. Not sure if the dead are candidates, but the late Mr. Broder might make the list. There be dark horses - and dark Lil Ponies! - in the mix.
The One True Wanker of the Decade: Tom Friedman
The state of the world is what it is in large part because people in positions of great power think this absurd buffoon of man is a Very Serious Person. This hasn't actually been the Eschaton Decade, it's been the Tom Friedman Decade. And the next one probably will be too.
We're fucked.
First Runner-Up: Fred Hiatt
Some years back I had a wee epiphany when I realized that, for the most part, we aren't supposed to to read the WaPo editorial page. It isn't actually for us. It's a means for certain elites to send messages to each other, a way for the "Gang Of 500" to take their battles public, to signal their interests and priorities. There are some exceptions to this, some columnists who write for readers, but for the most part it's simply a conversation by and for elites. If you're good enough, smart enough, and, doggone it, Fred Hiatt thinks you're important, there's no limit to the amount of bullshit you can have blessed by him. On his page is where the Washington Consensus is defended daily, truth be damned.
2nd Runner-Up: Andrew Sullivan
As we get higher and higher on this list, I get more tired even as the wanking of the wankers becomes greater and greater. One could waste a lifetime writing about the wanking of Andrew Sullivan. I'm starting to worry I have.
3rd Runner-Up: Joe Klein
He's a fairly typical Democrat who hates Democrats, liberal who hates liberals, the real problem with the Democrats being unions, hippies, people who hate the military, people who vote for Democrats, the Democrats they vote for. The usual.
4th Runner-Up: Mark Halperin
I'm not even sure what Mark Halperin's job is anymore, aside from being a dick on Morning Joe, but once upon a time he oversaw production of The Note, ABC News's morning emailed news tip sheet, back before such things were commonplace.
5th Runner-Up: Lord Saletan
Choosing which of the Lords of Slate would make this list was a bit tough. Weisberg's had more overall responsibility for the years long wankfest that is Slate, and a fine practitioner of the Art of Wanking himself, but Saletan still edged him out.
6th Runner-Up: Jonah Goldberg
Jonah Goldberg is stupid. Really stupid. Can't tie his shoes stupid. Top commenter at a newspaper website stupid. After decades of scientific research, Thers wrote a song describing the thought patterns of the Goldberg brain.
7th Runner-Up: Diane Sawyer
... this is probably the one wanker award given for a single moment of truly quality wanking. It's for a moment of wanking that only the most brilliant wankers even aspire to, let alone achieve. (For her pointed yet vapid interview with Valerie Maines after the Dixie Chicks' we're ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas" thing).
8th Runner-Up: Richard Cohen
Cohen's different than most of the people who will likely receive this honor. Most of the people on this illustrious list will be notable by the fact that they're pretty much wrong about everything all the time. Cohen occasionally gets it right and demonstrates that there's remnant of a decent human being floating around in there somewhere. But he's also horribly and smugly wrong so much of the time, in the way that only someone who has been sitting in their tenured Washington Post columnist chair for decades can be.
9th Runner-Up: Megan McArdle
We all say dumb things and toss out a wrong statement now and then, but with McArdle a degree of argumentum ad verecundiam pervades all of her writing, and the authority she's appealing to is herself. She's never wrong, just misunderstood.