The GOP primary campaign may be history, but we're not quite ready to let it go yet. So we decided it would be fun to relive the best moments, and by the time we had compiled the list, we realized it would make for one hella fun bracket competition.
So we whittled the list of top moments down to 32 (it was hard!). That means 16 first-round contests, 8 second round, 4 in the quarterfinals, 2 semi-final matches, and then the championship round. You pick the winners each round until, 29 votes later, we have an ultime winner! We'll roll out a match every weekday until we crown a victor at the end of May.
So without further ado, here's the inaugural match:
1. GOP DEBATE AUDIENCE BOOS GAY SOLDIER
Once upon a time, Republicans worshipped at the altar of "the troops," as long as they could be used as debate props or useful foil to deflect criticism of their endless war efforts. But that was before the gays infiltrated the ranks, undermining the delicate sensibilities and hateful morality of the Right. Of course, they were always there, but it was more freedom-y to keep their mouths shut.
So it wasn't surprising to see audience members boo this brave servicemember, Stephen Hill. But it was more than the booing. For starters, none of the presidential candidates on the stage condemned this blatant show of disrespect. And just as outrageous, none of them even bothered to thank Stephen for his service to the nation, denying him the most basic respect and courtesy routinely given to our men and women in uniform. To them, he was less than American, less than human.
2. THE TREES ARE JUST THE RIGHT HEIGHT IN MICHIGAN!
Who says all Republicans hate nature and want to exploit it to extinction? If nothing else, Michigan trees would appear safe in a Romney Administration.
It's been so difficult for Mittens to connect with voters who don't own professional sports teams, yet he had to pull through in Michigan lest he surrender the entire nomination to his second-rate opponent, Rick Santorum. So how could he connect with Michiganders, when he'd seemingly done everything possible to avoid their state as an adult? He couldn't boast a mansion in the state, or joke about the jobs his father shipped out of it.
"I love this state,. The trees are the right height."
“This feels good, being back in Michigan. You know, the trees are the right height."
“I love being in Michigan. Everything seems right here. You know, I come back to Michigan; the trees are the right height."
"What a thrill it is to come back to Michigan, particularly in the winter, where the skies are cloudy all day, trees are just at the right height."On the plus side, Romney's Michigan tree fetish wasn't hateful or dangerous or divisive. On the other hand, it's fucking weird, and stark evidence that the Romneybot just isn't wired properly.