(I wrote this article in the early 1970s during the wind down of the Vietnam War, to which my husband was assigned while I stayed behind in Omaha with our two small children for a year. I still would have chosen to go AWOL to Canada as a family.)
Foremost among a military Waiting Wife's woes is concern about her husband's safety.
"Steve had to promise me that he would not come back in a wooden box," says Kathy. "I dreamt that he did before he left. I still dream about it to this day."
"Everyday I scan the papers; I listen to every newscast; and I pray that I won't read or hear that the base where my husband is has been shelled," explains Judy.
But life is certainly no ball for any woman alone, whether she be alone with just herself, alone with her children or alone with her parents.
The Waiting Wife is not the only woman facing life without a live-in male companion. Her sisters are the single women, the widow and the divorcee.
Each woman may find herself experiencing episodes of loneliness, of frustrations and helplessness at times by the mere fact that she has no mate, no one to confide in, no one to share happy and sad moments, no one to be with in a society made up of couples.
But the Waiting Wife, whose husband may yet be in Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Australia, Taiwan or Korea, sticks out like a peanut butter sandwich at a gourmet feast.
She is luckier in many ways, less lucky in others. It all depends on whether she is an optimist or a pessimist.
The optimistic Waiting Wife knows that she is still loved by the man she married. And she has to believe that he will return someday.
She tries to see her life just as it was when her husband was home --- except he's gone, perhaps on the other side of the world. But their love lives on.
"How did I make it through these 18 months (a waiting record in Omaha)?" asks Linda.
"Well, let me tell you a little secret. We sent each other x-rated tapes."
Linda continued, "So whenever I felt low, I would put on one of these little tapes, and it was almost as if my husband were there with me."
Of course Linda make her statement after she had just received a plaque from the local APO (Army Post Office) Waiting Wives Club signifying completion of involuntary separation from her husband.
Now a pessimist may say, "Sure it's easy to be optimistic when one is looking back at the separation nearly completed."
It just follows that most pessimistic Waiting Wives happen to also be new Waiting Wives.
One wife tells about the first weekend she was home without her husband.
"I had just gotten to bed. It was a windy, angry night out there. Suddenly I could swear that I heard someone trying to get in the house.
"I was brand new at this business of being head of the family. I couldn't even remember if I had locked the doors because my husband had always done that before.
"The noise continued, and I was getting pretty shook up. Finally I came to my senses and rationalized that I had no reason to be afraid. After all, so what if I was to be mangled and perhaps killed. At least I wouldn't have to live through this upcoming year alone. Now I almost welcomed my near end.
"My only concern thereafter was that our children remain safe even if I were to be killed.
"Thank God, everything was my imagination. I had locked the doors. Now I'm glad that that night wasn't my last. I only have a few more days left to wait before my husband's home for good."
An unique problem exists for the Waiting Wife who establishes a home with her children away from family and friends while her husband is away.
Besides the emotional problem of separation from her husband, she faces much the same problems as her single mother sisters.
She replaces fuses in appliances, puts up and takes down storm windows, learns the difficulties of managing a car and teaches her son how to play football and soccer.
The only advice she gets may be from well-meaning neighbors and a husband some 9.000 miles away.
It's a frustrating life when one's husband is on the other side of the globe.
Single mothers are free to have a male companion to confide in and lean upon now and then.
Often, however, all the Waiting Wife has to depend upon is herself. And each wife tackles her frustrations in a different way.
Unfortunately, the children are often the targets of their lonely mother's frustrations.
No Waiting Wife has been known to be a child beater, but chances are that Mom may have a lower boiling point the year Dad's away than when he's home.
"One night I simply slapped my four-year-old for hardly any reason at all," says Barbara.
"I then had to explain to him that I was sorry, but this was a bad time for me with Daddy away," Barbara continued. "It's hard, though, for a four-year-old to understand why his mother should hit him, when it's not his fault that his dad is at war."
Another wife didn't lay a hand on her children when she reached her boiling point.
"The kids that morning had been little devils," Judy recalls. "My girl was beating on the neighbor boy, Glen had colored on the wall, and the dog had chewed a hole in the fence.
"It was as if a tornado hit me. I found myself flinging my full coffee cup at the kitchen wall.
"Believe it or not, I just loved seeing that splattering mess --- the sound of the cup breaking.
"Afterwards I didn't even mind cleaning up. I was just fine after that, calm as a breeze the rest of the day," Judy concluded.
But with the bad comes the good. Whenever Waiting Wives get together, one can't help but hear the words, "leave," "R & R" and "DEROS" (Date Effective Rotation Overseas).
Almost like clockwork, a month before a wife's husband is due for a leave at home, R and R or DEROS, she goes on a diet, cleans the house from top to bottom and may even borrow the big three from a fellow Waiting Wife --- The Sensuous Woman, The Sensuous Man and The Sensuous Couple.
A week before the rendezvous, she may buy some sexy lingerie and start a crash diet since she cheated on the one three weeks earlier.
"We Waiting Wives are a very cohesive group," says Anne. "But when one of our wives' husbands comes home, it's understood that we leave the lovers alone.
"Oh, we may call a week or so after he's home, when both have gotten their heads a little out of the clouds," Anne adds. "But as far as we're concerned, their first days alone are theirs alone."
Women who live in the Omaha area and whose husbands are stationed overseas are welcome to join the local APO Wives Clubs.
New Waiting Wives simply register with Family Services at Offutt Air Force Base. they will later be called by a member of the Offutt APO Wives' Club, which meets once a month at a local restaurant.