"Not a Life-Threatening Loss."
So did JP Morgan Chase's Chief Executive, Jamie Dimon, describe his company's loss of $2,000,000,000 (give or take a nickel) last week as bets the company placed in the world's largest casino on complex financial instruments went sour.
It's kind of too bad. Because I'd be willing to wager (heh) Mr. Dimon has never actually experienced a "life-threatening" loss, and maybe it would have given him some perspective.
-- Like that of the hundreds of people Chase throws out into the street every day because Mr. Dimon's minions refuse to negotiate loan modifications or illegally foreclosure for the hell of it. Being tossed out into the cold with your children qualifies as "life-threatening" in my book.
-- Like that of the tens of millions of people who lost their jobs or their retirements because banks like Mr. Dimon is in charge of brought the world to the brink of financial ruin; making ever riskier bets to the tune of trillions of dollars a few years ago. Now through no fault of their own some of these millions face the life-threatening choice of paying for medical care, or paying for a roof, or starving. Consumer choice is not always better, Mr. CEO, despite what your business school courses may have taught you.
All in all, I'm terribly saddened yours wasn't a life-threatening loss, Mr. Dimon. Because if it had been, and seeing how corporations are people now, maybe Eric Schneiderman would have indicted you for murder. And we'd also be rid of your bank.