I got the inevitable angry phone call from my Christian conservative mom Saturday: She said she's not voting for President Obama because he supports same sex marriage.
I knew she was eventually going to call me about it because she's so passionately anti-gay -- even though her youngest sister and one of her granddaughters are lesbians. She claims to love them, but detests their lifestyles. "Love the sinner, but hate the sin," she says.
When she called me, she led with the statement, "The President has lost his mind. Can you believe he wants to let gays get married. It's an abomination! The Bible says so."
I'm a Christian, too... but hardly a Biblical scholar. I know the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and about the passages in Leviticus that do indeed refer to sexual relations between members of the same sex as an "abomination." However, I'm just not ready to say God will condemn gays and lesbians because of who they choose to fall in love with.
In my view, the bottom line about sex is that it is a sacred thing that should be shared by people who truly love and care about each other, regardless of gender. Too many negative consequences otherwise.
Anyway, the bottom line is we really don't know how God will judge people involved in same sex relationships...as He is the only judge. I tried to explain to my mom that the President is not the Pope. He has a responsibility under the Constitution to provide equal rights under the law to all citizens no matter what their race, creed, color, age, income or sexual orientation. I tried to get her to see that this really isn't a religious issue, but she wasn't trying to hear that.
I asked her how it hurts her or makes any difference in her life if gays are allowed to marry. She said, "It's an abomination that is an indicator of moral decay in our society. It affects all of us in a negative way -- especially kids. They don't need to be around children."
I told her that people used passages from the Bible to justify slavery and discrimination against black folks. "Well, they were wrong," she said. "And I resent how people try to draw parallels between our struggle and these gays." She's not the only black person I've heard say that. Many blacks feel that way. But to me, discrimation is wrong. It's just plain wrong. I wish she could see that.
I also told her about how being anti-gay rights is playing into the hands of racist groups who are targeting gays now, but who are also trying to constrict the rights blacks, other minorities and women via voter suppression activities and other initiatives. I reminded her of the stance taken by Rev. William J. Barber of the Greenleaf Baptist Church in Goldsboro, N.C. Recently, he was able to do what most of the LGBT led campaigns at the state level haven't: connect the anti-same-sex marriage strategy to the Tea Party, and other racist conservative groups.
I asked her if she was going to let this one issue cause her not to vote for President Obama and thus, potentially pave the way to the White House for Mitt Romney. She answered, "I cannot vote for anyone who supports an abomination."
As of today, my 73-year-old mom (who I don't think has ever voted for a Republican in her life) is not going to vote for President Obama due his decision to support gay marriage. By default, that makes her net gain for Romney, whether she actually votes for him or not. Of couse, I still love her unconditionally. But I have a hard time accepting her bigotry toward gays -- most of which is based on her religious beliefs, but some is just plain ignorance.
I know she's not the only person who feels like that. Because so many blacks are deeply religious, social conservatives there is truly a passionate split in the black community about gay marriage and gay people in general. It worries me that the political cost of his decision will make it harder for Mr. Obama to win re-election...and I just don't know that I or anybody can say anything to change the minds of those who are so narrowly focused and passionate about this single issue. He'll still get most of the black vote, but in an election that's shaping up to be very close, every vote counts. And this makes me a bit nervous that single issue voters could sway it toward Romney in crucial swing states with large black populations like Florida, Virginia and North Carolina.
It's not like the voter suppression efforts aren't bad enough. Now this?!