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Like Sisyphus rolling the boulder up the hill day after day, your intrepid diarist has embarked on a never-ending assignment: cataloging the many flaws of the indignant Mitt. Forced to toil among the great unwashed masses in a desperate quest to buy the presidency, the campaign is clearly taking its toll. Day after day, the real Mitt emerges, while the GOP "leadership" struggles in vain to apply another layer of wallpaper to this crumbling wall.

Recognizing that you have only limited time to follow this debacle, here is the third installment of our series reducing this growing list of personal shortcomings to convenient poetical sound bites. As always, please feel free to add to the list. It takes a village to keep up with this task.

A for assault: let’s be clear, it’s a crime
But for rich kids like Mitt, they will not do the time

B is for billions; it’s still not enough
Without mansions and minions and mountains of stuff

C condescension, that glance from on high
That says “hey, little people: you’re fired! Goodbye!”

D for Detroit, left to languish and rot
It’s just business, Mitt reasons without second thought

E for employees cast out in the street   
While Mitt dines on fois gras, they have nothing to eat

F is for faith; we’re all one, so he’s said
But then why, if that’s true, does he baptize the dead?

G, Grey Poupon: for French mustard, it’s tops
Not that yellow crap offered at cheap campaign stops

H is for hair, Mitt’s obsession, we’ve heard
We hope male pattern baldness proceeds undeterred

I, insincere which is Mitt’s basic norm
He’s raised it to be an amazing art form

J is for justice for Seamus the Red
Whose rooftop ordeal left him quaking in dread

K is for kidding and fooling around
Like cutting kids’ hair as they’re held to the ground

L is for losers (like Mitt’s poor old dad)
They gave it their best, but fell short: so, so sad  

M, Massachusetts, the Land of the Cod
Where Mitt reigned for one term as directed by God

N is for NASCAR where Mitt was appalled
That folks wore plastic garments (whatever they’re called)

O, One Percenters, Mitt’s only true friends
He’ll dump them though, when all their check-writing ends

P, paranoia if he can’t prevail
He won’t be considered the big alpha male  

R for remorse, of which Romney feels none
For the horrible things he’s allegedly done

S is for smugness and also for smirk
The grin of a pompous, insensitive jerk

T is for torture that Mitt won’t rule out
After all, that’s what prep school was really about

U, university speech he just gave
That would make Dietrich Bonhoeffer turn in his grave

V is for Vietnam, not on Mitt’s list
He’s a chickenhawk now, in an ironic twist

W, Wall Street, where Mitt reigns supreme
While his victims give up their American dream

X is for x-ray to search for Mitt’s soul
But all they have found is a silent black hole

Y is for YouTube which captures Mitt’s lies
His loathing for video he can’t disguise

Z is for zombies “they’re people, my friend”
With posthumous baptism, their life need not end.

NOTE: the 9th option on the poll should read: "Launch of the 'I was whacked by Bain' web site".

Originally posted to cassandracarolina's fossil record on Mon May 14, 2012 at 07:44 AM PDT.

Also republished by Indigo Kalliope, DKOMA, Progressive Hippie, Readers and Book Lovers, and Community Spotlight.


What's on tap for Mitt in this upcoming week from hell?

10%7 votes
7%5 votes
2%2 votes
2%2 votes
11%8 votes
11%8 votes
0%0 votes
8%6 votes
4%3 votes
11%8 votes
4%3 votes
16%11 votes
1%1 votes
5%4 votes

| 68 votes | Vote | Results

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