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Mr. Dan: Dogboy! Dogboy!
Dogboy: Yessir, Mr. Dan!
Mr. Dan: Where have you been?
Dogboy: Celebrating Obama's. . . slightly-delayed civil rights triumph!
Mr. Dan: You mean his attack on society, God and the Bible!
Dogboy: Whoa! I didn't know he did all that!
Mr. Dan: The Bible is very clear about this, Dogboy!
Dogboy: Oh, you mean the part about not eating shrimp?
Mr. Dan: No, the relationship part!
Dogboy: Oh! Between an ass and an ox?
Mr. Dan: Nnno! Not that part, the part about traditional marriage!
Dogboy: Ooh! And wives submitting to their Husband-Lords?
Mr. Dan: Grrr, face it, Dogboy, your man Obama is a sinner. We need Mitt Romney in there to stand for morality!
Dogboy: Mmm. . .like the morality of bullying a gay teen and forcibly cutting his hair?
Mr. Dan: Youthful indiscretion, (if it happened at all, Dogboy.)
Dogboy: But, but the Bible says you're not supposed to cut hair!
Mr. Dan: Grr, Dogboy! You can't take the Bible literally!
Dogboy: Oh whew! So as long as we treat others as we want to be treated, it's moral and good, right?
Mr. Dan: Well, unless you're a gay or lesbimian trying to get married, that's dirty and evil. It's right there in the Bible!
Dogboy: So sometimes we do take the Bible literally?
Mr. Dan: Yes, I suppose, the Sodom-and-Gomorrah-eternal-hellfire-part.
Dogboy: What about the obedient slaves part?
Mr. Dan: No Dogoy, it's--
Dogboy: The no pork part?
Mr. Dan: Too literal, Dogboy!
Dogboy: The "no blended fabrics" part?
Mr. Dan: No, that's just--
Dogboy: The "no tattoos" part?
Mr. Dan: Aigh! No--
Dogboy: Beating fools?
Mr. Dan: What th'--
Dogboy: Stealing an ass?
Mr. Dan: No! Dogbo--
Dogboy: Oh! Stoning disobedient kids!
Mr. Dan: Aiggh! Dogb--
Dogboy: The part about the camel!
Mr. Dan: Doboyyy--
Dogboy: Oh! The part about boiling a young goat?
Mr. Dan: Too literal, Dogbo-- [passes out]
Dogboy: Mr. Dan? Wake up, Mr. Dan. We haven't gotten to the part about the concubines yet! Mr. Dan? I think you'll like that part, Mr. Dan?