Jeff Foxworthy made a great deal of money and quite a bit of sense when he wrote his best-selling "You Might be a Redneck if..." (for instance...."you and your dog used the same tree."
These days, especially in some parts of this great land, it would be far worse if you were labeled with the "s" word, which somehow brands you as a traitor, a slimebag or just a deluded subversive. Socialism, you see, attacks the fundamental root of America in these parts of the country. A socialist doesn't believe in what these people honestly think is the purpose, foundation and destiny of America - the accumulating, endlessly increasing and taxlessly passing on of money.
This means you have to be very careful to avoid being branded a socialist. Here's are a few questions to guide you:
You might be a socialist if.....
1. You think that the 50% of all seniors (65+) in the United States shouldn't live for a year on the amount of money that the average corporate CEO makes in seven hours.
(AP reports the average CEO makes 9.6 million dollars a year. AARP says half of all U.S. seniors get along (?) on less than $19,000.)
2. You feel that banks should be more rigidly controlled by laws that are strictly enforced by federal and state agencies.
(Researchers at Princeton and Georgia State University have reported an increase of 100 foreclosures corresponded to a 7.2% rise in emergency room visits and hospitalizations for hypertension, an 8.1% increase for diabetes among people aged 20 to 49 and 39% more visits for suicide attempts among the same group, though this still represents a small number of patients, the researchers say. Many of these foreclosures were caused by erroneous or fraudulent actions on the part of the banks.)
3. High income people get away with murder, taxwise.
(CNN Money reports households with incomes of a million dollars pay an effective tax rate - what they really pay - of 18.9%. The explanation: "a lot of households at that level -- like Romney's -- make a lot of their money from tax-advantaged investments, such as capital gains and tax-free bonds. And they tend to have a lot of itemized deductions, which can greatly reduce how much they owe the tax man.")
4. The country is run by millionaires.
(The Center for Responsive Politics reports better than 60% of the Senate and 40% of the House of Representatives are millionaires. The richest, conservative Republican Daniel Issa, was worth better than 300 million back in 2009. Forbes magazine reports the average net worth of Supreme Court justices is "at least two million." Non-millionaire presidents are as scarce as hen's teeth - the last one we had was Harry Truman. In 1945.)
You might find there is a definite danger here that you may indeed have s**** tendencies. To remedy this, go immediately to Fox News and listen to any Fair and Balanced broadcast by any fair and blanced broadcaster.