With the recent string of cannibalism ravaging the east coast, the Center for Disease Control put out a statement saying they don’t know of any disease that can reanimate corpses or cause people to go to crazytown. But any reasonable person can see through their veiled lies. This is simply a PR campaign to save face and keep us unsuspecting. And then all of a sudden you are walking to your car after a movie and WAM!, some crazy crackhead is turning your head into a crunchyroll.
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms…” wrote suspected zombie and CDC spokesperson David Daigle.
So that means they could easily exist and that the CDC just isn’t aware? What if they don’t know about it because every time someone walked into the room trying to explain what is happening the person in charge put their hands over their ears in a cupping fashion and yelled “la la la la, I can’t hear you..”!? Yeah, completely plausible… I know.
So this simply means one thing: There are zombies man. <- In Tommy Chong’s voice.