I have never had a harder week. It would have been bad enough losing my younger brother in law to anything, disease, violence, accident, but to a possible suicide? I can't grasp this, NO refuse to grasp this, refuse to believe it.
Not Pat self confident at an early age, smart, handsome, talented in both the physical sports and music. Tall, thin, blonde hair, green eyes, women fell for him.
Able to do the impossible, make his living playing music and singing. Most of us give up music for 'real careers" when we are very young.
http://cphpost.dk/...
But Music was more than his life it was his lively hood, he knew how to keep his creativity and run it like a business. He never asked anyone for help, that we know of. He existed and seemed to thrive on the music scene. No drugs, no real change in his life,just disappeared a week ago, in Denmark.
There was a note, that eluded to his death, "My intention is to be dead and for my body not to be found. " is what he says. there is more, a reference to a children's book, business to take care of that cleans up his bills and personal items. And this all sounds right in line for suicide right? But there are things that are not right, things out of place.
He left without glasses or contacts, now those of us who have bad eyes, get the irony in this right? would you ever get up and leave with out either your glasses or contacts, no... you would not.
Then there is the reporting on his mood, no one noticed any depression, or emotional upheaval at all. He was loved by all whom he worked and lived with, as a traveling musician in Europe.
In the note he also states :" There's a story by Maurice Sendak that kind of reflects how I've felt about my life. There's a great reading from a woman 'Grimes?' on youtube. If you all listen to that as my funeral, that would be great. "
And this is where I find it all wrong all out of character. It is Drama, and written dramatically, as if for an audience.
Now I have been married into this family for 22 years, that is a long time. I love my in laws, they are a terrific bunch of people,and I Miss my mother in law whom I wrote about in DKOS. But in those 22 years, ALL 5 children floated in and out of the radar screens. I did not meet the oldest daughter until I was married for a few years, then never saw or heard from her again for five years, Patrick himself floated in and out of our worlds once he had gone off on his own,at about 22. He has floated away to Switzerland, and the Alps, south east Asia. We, my husband and I were no better, on and off the radar, except second oldest daughter, the grounded one. The One sister stayed put, same house, same job, same state. I view her as the rock that the rest of us circle about. This was so unlike my family, who complained furiously about us not keeping in touch. Should we appear at one of my family's events, I spent the first hour listening to my elders chatter on about what snob i must be, who did I think I was off traipsing around the world waving my back amex around,,, blah blah blah, then boy we missed you, and don't stay away so long next time. Remember that we are your family, and we love you.
But my husbands family, seemed to take it all in stride,no drama, no melodramatic lectures, no guilt trips. NO DRAMA, not once from any of them. Not if we left not if they left.
So why now? Why this time, why this one time, would he choose drama? It is as if it were a stage show, choreographed for someone? But Who? The Danish police, well they are not really doing anything, he is not a Dane after all and He IS "sucking in my breath" an American!.
The people he lived with, have done all they can for us. The Embassy, involved, working it as best they can. But here we are grieving his loss, and grasping at straws, it will be much easier to believe that it is a stage show, and he really is some where else in the world,singing his heart out.
Whatever it is, the sorrow surrounding me, is crushing.
If You are Danish,Please read the article, and call the police if you have seen him.