Tip #1. Get the fastest Internet connection that your provider offers. HuffPo is a slug on the Information Super Highway, so you are going to need all of the bandwidth that you can muster.
My connection registers at 20.75 Mbps at www.speedtest.com. I have a blazing quad core desktop and a new Mac PowerBook G4, and HuffPo reduces both to x386/56kbps dogs.
Tip #2. Enjoy the lightshow. Often just as you are poised to click on a story on the frontpage, it and the other stories will suddenly turn yellow and HuffPo becomes a game of 52-card pickup as the stories fly all over the page. It is better to wait until this process is finished to avoid clicking on a link to a picture of Miley Cyrus' side boob. Caution here could prevent marital discord.
Tip # 3. Once the frontpage has finished redrawing itself, quickly find the story you wanted wherever it finally landed, and click on it before the deck shuffles again.
Tip #4. Walk into the kitchen and see if there is any thing new in the refrigerator while HuffPo finds the story. Do not be fooled when it appears quickly on your monitor, this is a trap. Before you can scroll down below the 84 point headline, you must wait until a shitload of other stuff happens.
First, the site tells you how many people 'like' the story on Facebook, how many tweeted it, emailed it, and who wrapped a cyber fish in it.
Then, more of your lifetime is wasted as it loads a scrollbar above the headline pointing out the stories that you previously ignored because you wanted to read the story you clicked on.
Next, a box asking you to follow Huffington Post on every social media site in the whole wide world (www) appears. Below it, you will find the "Most Popular on HuffPost" section, which will lead to even more sideboobs, upskirts, guess who the fuck the baby picture is, and a news story about a mansion you will never be able to afford, ever.
Tip #5. Read the story. If it seems familiar, it is probably because of two things. One, it is now old news after the loading time on the site, and two, it was probably published somewhere else first. Ready to read the comments now?
Tip #6. Buy a mouse with a super-sonic-scroll-wheel because the actual comments are not on your computer but hidden in your basement or crawl space. Again, you will be asked to do something on social media sites, I don't know exactly what because I now automatically ignore the Facebook icon. Once you find the comments, they are easily read because most are only four words. The longer ones are from Teabaggers and trolls that were kicked off Daily Kos, so you can scroll past them providing your scrolling finger is not paralyzed. OK, now you are ready to comment. You can select to share your comment on the usual social media sites and the 1st edition Gutenberg Bible if you so choose.
Tip #7. I'm not sure what is supposed to happen next because my screen turns a darker shade and stays there for awhile before returning to where I was before. The one time I managed to enter a comment, HuffPo told me that it was being moderated, so I waited. I checked the refrigerator again. Nothing. I checked my neighbors refrigerator. Nothing. So, I went to WalMart and bought my summer wardrobe. Came back. Nothing. Came back the next day. Nothing.
Tip #8.Forget about it and go back to Daily Kos. If you feel you really need some Miley sideboob, here ...