Skip to main content

Shredded paper.
Processing George Rockwell's FOIA requests.
It's been a while since we've had a Saturday dedicated to George Rockwell, my Nazi pen pal. Every time I think I'm done with him because his schtick is getting tiresome, he comes up with a new hilarious theme.

And thus we have a recent two-week long back and forth as George tries to get me to reveal things about me by "filing" a Freedom of Information Act request. Enjoy, below the fold!

Some back story: George Rockwell claimed he was suing me for something or other, and for the longest time insisted that Justice Scalia would grant him a Supreme Court bench trial. He finally came to accept that that was never going to happen, so he offered to "settle":

alternative suggestion

hello, markos. with reference to the email i sent you a week ago, i actually might have a better idea. as i have explained, the problem is that i couldn't find an embassy that would cooperate with me. but all of that would be unnecessary if you would agree to settle our dispute. what i propose is the following: i will drop all charges against you and your jew friends if you will apologize and donate a sizable sum, let's say $10,000, to a pro-palestinian organization (a real pro-palestinian organization, not one of the jew-controlled fake ones). the only catch is that at least half of the money has to come from your jew masters. this would be a moral outcome and it would also greatly humiliate your jew bosses. and you would save a great deal of money compared to a trial.

I mocked him and then demanded that he pay me $10,000, to which he responded with the first of his Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests:
i find it a bit suspicious that you are so fixated on this $10,000 amount. are you working under orders from your jew handlers? i think that the jews are worried that your contact with me has caused you to waver in your loyalty to the jew hegemony. that's why they are insisting that you keep deflecting serious, critical views with this ridiciulous demand. also, if you read my previous email to you (regarding romney and teva) you will understand that i have good cause to ask you whether or not you own stock in teva pharmaceuticals? in fact, the freedom of information act requires you to disclose this information. either you are being manipulated by the jews, or you are a willing participant in their crimes. and if you own teva stock, then you are clearly guilty. please release this information immediately, markos. and while we're at it, i also require all information pertaining to any and all farmland that you might own. if you own both farmland and teva stock, it's pretty clear what's going on. i suggest you provide this information quickly, assuming you want to clear your name. the colony collapse disorder conspiracy is not something you want to be associated with, believe me. act quickly, markos. p.s. the original offer is still on the table, should you decide to stop being ridiculous.

regards,
george

The whole lawsuit thing had played out and I was bored with it, though I did respond with a counter demand that he pay ME $10,000. But my heart wasn't into it. But this FOIA thing? I decided to have fun with it. First, I ignored his FOIA request, which outraged him:
From: George Rockwell wdref12_82@yahoo.com
To: Markos

what? you are the one refusing a freedom of information act request (illegally) and signing me up for lasik surgery commercials (illegally). why would i need to pay you. you are being beyond unresonable, markos. all right, if this is your attitude i suppose we can negotiate further. how about $2,000 for a palestinian organization? however, the other conditions would still apply. and i will still need information on your possible ownership of teva stock.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

These Freedom of Information Act requests sound like fun!

Consider this a Freedom of Information Act request to deliver me the following information:

1) Your employer
2) Your make and model of car
3) The types and names of any pets you have
4) Whether you wear boxers or briefs
5) Your favorite breakfast: cereal, pancakes, or eggs
6) Your iPod playlist

And fine, let's negotiate. Send $8,000. And if you don't, it'll be nice to meet you when you're forced to travel to California to defend yourself!

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

freedom of information requests can only be applied to public figures, markos. sorry. and i think i will consult my lawyer regarding your foolish lawsuit idea. we'll see what he thinks. and in any event, you won't be able to drag me into a courtroom against my will. i can live off the grid indefinitely if needs be. one needs to prepare for something like that if one chooses to criticize the jew hegemony.

I didn't respond since I had more important things to deal with. But he didn't stay away long.
From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

on second thought, markos, lawyers are very expensive and really wouldn't want to spend any extra money right now. how about we settle this particular matter with mutual apologies? there is no need for antagonism, after all.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

I'll settle when you pay me $8,000.

And I want an answer to my Freedom of Information request about whether you wear boxers or briefs.

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

you are being completely unreasonable, markos. i have made a gentlemanly counteroffer and apologized. you should do the same. remember that if we do end up in court, it all comes down to who has made more foi requests and who is more public. now, as for being a public figure, you are clearly it. you have a (jew-funded) blog and you have been on (jew-controlled) tv shows. this means that the burden of evidence is on you. and as for the number of requests, i think i can easily defeat you there. i have two weeks vacation coming up, and i could use all of that time just writing foi requests. so in the worst case scenario, the net amount of requests would easily make me the winner. so as you can see, pursuing this matter would be pointless. i have been eminently reasonable and i expect you to be as well. unless you have been ordered to pursue this matter by your jew handlers, even though it could lead to mutual destruction? is this the case? perhaps they know that tying my hands with a lawsuit would prevent me exploring the full extent of the relationship between the romney campaign and teva pharmaceuticals? i truly hope that there are no such sinister motives behind your stubborness. also, as a gesture of good faith, if that's what it takes to make you see reason, i wear boxers. happy? i think you are being petty and ridiculous, but you are also handing me the moral high ground with your actions. and before you escalate the situation, please look up the term "countersuit". theoretically, i could countersue you an infinite number of times, and one of those countersuits is bound to be successful. of course that would be too draining on my financial resources, but it's still an option if the situation looks bad. mutually assured destruction, markos. please be reasonable. and under foi rules, since i have now aswered one of your requests you also have to answer one of my requests. so please disclose the amount of teva pharmaceuticals stock you own, either directly or through shell companies. answering this request is not optional.

Of all his sins, his hatred for paragraph breaks may be the worst.

Again, I ignored. But he was on to something—having decided that lawsuits are won by those who file the most FOIA requests, he got right to work.

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

foi request

official freedom of information reuqest: please explain in detail how much money you have and where. p.s. this is just an example of the kinds of requests i can drown you with if you escalate the situation.

regards,
george

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

Please explain whether you wear boxers or briefs. And I can drown you with more requests, like the name of your first girl- or boyfriend.

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

another foi request

official freedom of information request: please explain in detail how you paid for your current domicile (this includes the down payment). p.s. maybe now you understand that this is a war you cannot win. please don't take us down this road, markos.

regards,
george

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

Please explain in detail the brand of your shoes, and whether you drink whole or 2% or soy milk.

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

first of all, your questions are not official freedom of information requests as you didn't identify them as such. secondly, i have already answered one of your requests even though i'm not obligated to do so due my status as "not public". this means that you must answer one of my requests, which was: please explain in detail your possible ownership of teva pharmaceuticals stock. as i have explained, answering this request is not optional. and please try to understand that my "not public" status protects me from your foi requests, even if a court would want to look at the net amount of requests made.

He answered one of my requests? Oh look at that, he did! It was in that big long paragraph above. I missed it when my eyes glazed over reading it. He wears boxers.
From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

i suggest you start taking this seriously, markos. i am trying to save us both from an expensive and ultimately pointless legal process. you must realize that the law is on my side here, and i am being very reasonable and generous. however, i still want a detailed explanation of your teva stock holdings. divulging this information is obligatory. assuming you don't own any teva stock, you should have nothing to hide. otherwise, i'm going to assume that you are coordinating your actions with teva. you could clear a lot of suspicion by answering me honestly.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

It's cute how you're playing lawyer again. You haven't learned your lesson, have you?

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

i have learned plenty of lessons, markos. the most important is to always negotiate from a position of strength, which is exactly where i am. yet, despite having the law on my side, i'm trying to be reasonable while you keep alternating between juvenile clowning and unnecessary aggression. you do understand that in terms of the freedom of information of act i have you on the ropes, right?

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

Ha ha ha ha ha!

You and the law don't even have a passing acquaintance. You'd think you would have learned to stop trying to play lawyer

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

arrogance is not a pleasant quality, markos. i'm sure you think you are superior, but that is how most people lose. remember that you are already in contempt of federal law, which is one step away from contempt of court. also remember that there is an electronic record of our discussion, which could easily put into a lot of trouble. as i have said, markos, i am in a position of power. you are already on record having refused an official freedom of information request, even though you were doubly obligated to answer since i had already answered one of your (ridiculous) requests. you are now clearly on record as being in contempt of federal law. i hope you understand the seriousness of your situation.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

You didn't answer ALL my requests. Therefore, you are one step removed from contempt of court. How does it feel?

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

i already explained that my status as "not public" makes me immune to your freedom of information requests. besides, from our discussions it becomes quite clear that i have great respect for federal law, unlike you. even a jew judge wouldn't convict me of contempt of court. you, however, have repeatedly made fun of our justice system and our laws. doesn't really look good for you, markos, does it? as you can see, i've covered all my bases. you would do well to just settle our dispute like a civilized person. i think you're letting jew behavior rub off on you.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

I've got a new Freedom of Information Act request -- "What did you eat for breakfast?"

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

i had corn flakes for breakfast. now you answer my request and explain the full extent of your connections to teva pharmaceuticals (including but not limited to your possible holding of any stock in said company). providing this information is not optional.

From: Markos
To: George Rockwell

So you had dry Corn Flakes for breakfast? No milk? Juice? Toast?

From: George Rockwell
To: Markos

obviously i had milk with my corn flakes. don't be an idiot. now why don't you answer my request?

I couldn't believe he was actually answering my VERY serious FOIA requests. But at this point, George dropped his FOIA thing and started talking about the Constitution and abortion and some other crap that made no sense and I lost interest. I'll spare you the details.

I do need your help, though. I want to hit him up with some new FOIA requests. We already know he wears boxers and eats corn flakes with milk for breakfast. What else should I ask him in Very Official fashion?

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site