When faced with the probability of not driving Obama from office the Republicans create a conspiracy theory called Fast and Furious.
Fast and furious. Shock and awe. Dumb and dumber.
Our government has a long history of losing arms shipments.
When old people say, "Our generation had morals," I hear "Fags closeted, Negroes quiet, Wives beaten." Long live the information era.
Telling me deep down bullies are just cowards is like telling me deep down rapists are just sad and lonely.
Larry Ellison LITERALLY buys islands and women. And rich people need more tax cuts...
I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50.
Everyday, I wake up so worried that someone will develop a superpower, become a villain & get their revenge cause of something I "did."
If something has “all natural” written on the packaging, it doesn’t mean it’s better for you. Uranium and herpes are all natural.
Drugs have a curious way of solving life’s problems. For an hour. Then you feel like shit. But drugs cure that. For an hour.
I look at warning labels on medicine bottles as a challenge.