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Laugh, smile, grin, giggle, snicker, tee-hee, smirk, LOL, guffaw, snort and howl.  Just remember: Do not spray other MOTlies with your coffee.

The following group of topical jokes comes courtesy of Comedian Argus Hamilton:

Adidas introduced its controversial Shackle running shoe Monday. It's got an orange rubber shackle and chain fastened around the ankle. O.J. Simpson hasn't played football in years, so it's a real tribute to his star power that they're still designing shoes for him.

The L.A. Zoo went on trial Monday over an elephant exhibit which animal rights activists say is inadequate. It holds three elephants in just three-and-a-half-acres. Republican zoning laws require three acres per elephant plus a nine-hole golf course with a grill room.

President Obama flew to Mexico for the Group of Twenty summit Monday. He's being protected this week by a special branch of the Secret Service. From now on whenever a president travels to a Latin American fun spot, his life is in the hands of the Eunuch Corps.

The Secret Service released a decade-long list of complaints against their agents on Sunday including hookers, boozing, and porn. They're working on controlling their urges. That little wire that goes inside their ear is no longer for communication, it's a shock treatment.

John Edwards was reported Tuesday to be considering returning to politics in North Carolina. Don't bet against him. Any man who can talk a widow out of a million dollars and use it to hide his pregnant mistress from his dying wife while running for president, then convince his jury he did nothing wrong has, what we call in Los Angeles, good people skills.

"Over the weekend President Obama issued an order that allows some illegal immigrants to stay in the country. Or as Fox News reported it, 'Obama issues order allowing himself to stay in the country.'" –Conan O'Brien
"They say President Obama played golf a hundred times in his first administration, a four-year period. So he played on Father's Day. Donald Trump – always looking to make trouble, always looking to rain on somebody's parade – Donald Trump demanded to see Obama's scorecard." –David Letterman
"Republicans Yesterday launched a new Spanish-language website to attract Latino voters, featuring smiling, happy Latino children -- except it turned out they weren't Latino children, they were Asian. Even worse, when you go to the button to click onto the home page, it says, 'Enter around back.'" –Bill Maher
"Both Romney and Obama were in Ohio giving dueling speeches on the economy. Before Obama's speech, Romney's bus starts circling the Obama site honking their horns in the parking lot. They would have actually stayed and done it longer, but Mitt had to get back to his site to give his speech about how we need to put the grownups back in charge." –Bill Maher
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Comment Preferences

  •  Good TGIF MOTliteers! (14+ / 0-)

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    Have a wonderful day everybuddy ;~D

    As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

    by JaxDem on Thu Jun 21, 2012 at 04:43:09 AM PDT

  •  Good Morning Everyone. (7+ / 0-)

    Now that it has cooled down from 95 (Which it has been the last few days) to 79 for a high, my a.c. should be working again. Where I live, in the assisted living community, they have this interesting concept of the ac only working on days you do not need it, and not on the days you do.

    /rant off.

    I hope everyone has a good last day of work week :)

    I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning.

    by BFSkinner on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 03:40:21 AM PDT

  •  "I can't live like this anymore!" (6+ / 0-)

    Last night I dreamed that I was this stuck in the '80s aging mullet-head and his live-in girl friend leaves his clueless self. "I can't live like this anymore!"

    Then I dreamed that I explained the previous dream to a friend who is a professional cartoonist.

    Then I dreamed that I asked some shrinks about the mullet dream. "Is this psychic residue of somebody else's real life bleeding over into my dreams?"

    Then mullet-head shows up again in another dream as somebody in a small group of folks who are going to haul corn for another friend. He's driving a '70s Allis-Chalmers with palm tree and other tropical themed decals pasted all over the hood and cab.

    "If this Studebaker had anymore Atomic Space-Age Style, you'd have to be an astronaut with a geiger counter!"

    by Stude Dude on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 03:40:56 AM PDT

    •  Good Morning, Dude! (6+ / 0-)

      Obviously, your dream is telling you to chuck it all and open a landscaping business in a tropical location - preferably in the southeast where mullets never go out of style.  How hard was that?

      Seriously, don't quit your day job ;-)

      Have a great day.

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 03:47:14 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  'Enter around back' (6+ / 0-)

    Pretty much describes the promise of Republicans to people of color ... actually their "promise" to all of us.

    This is funny:

    Republican zoning laws require three acres per elephant plus a nine-hole golf course with a grill room.
    Thanks for the laughs, JaxDem.

    Have a great day!!

    Words have meaning. Our words will reflect what is in our souls.

    by JanF on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 03:51:11 AM PDT

  •  Good Morning MOTleyville (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem, Otteray Scribe, boran2, JKTownsend

    summer finallt actually has arrived in Concord, NC.
    the grass is satrting to dry out in spots.
    it's a partly cloudy 70° & will get upto 92° later in the day. there is a 40% chance of evening boomers.

    Happy Friday to all

    •  Happy Friday to you too, eeff! (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Otteray Scribe, eeff, boran2, JKTownsend

      Summer made it to NC then, huh?  I'm almost afraid to say it lest I jinx it, but we've enjoyed lower temps here too.

      Hope you have a great day, my friend.

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 04:23:41 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Mornin' mornin' peepul... (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    maryabein, JaxDem, eeff, boran2, JKTownsend

    Pleasant 64 degrees here today, with expected high of about 87.  We really had a hard late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday, so did not get go go fly.  Instead, we built models and repaired broken ones yesterday afternoon.  Wx Saturday looks good.  We now have plenty of models to fly.  We are optimists, so will not take a large laundry basket to bring them home in.  

    Our upstairs A/C died yesterday.  Thank the FSM it was a cool night and we really did not need it.  Every time I think I can stash some change in the savings account, something like this happens.  I will call the A/C repair folks later today.  Hopefully, it will be something like a tripped overload switch and not a broken important part.  

    The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

    by Otteray Scribe on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 04:26:50 AM PDT

    •  Good Morning, OS. (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Otteray Scribe, eeff, boran2, JKTownsend

      I hope your weather cooperates and you can go play with your planes today.  

      Good luck with that a/c, I hope it is a simple part and you won't need to replace the whole thing.

      Home repairs never end.  I dreamed about a home repair job last night.  I knew it was a dream when the guy gave me an estimate for a few hundred dollars for a few thousand dollar job.  Wishful dream.

      Have fun today!

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 04:39:26 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  Everyone keep your fingers crossed. (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        eeff, JaxDem, boran2, JKTownsend

        The last time one of the units went belly up, it cost me $1,1750 plus tax.  Actually both the upstairs and downstairs units are relatively new, so I am hoping that some small switch has tripped and we are not looking at a new unit.  It could be just low on coolant.  When that happens, the fan will run but the compressor shuts off to protect itself.  

        The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

        by Otteray Scribe on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 04:55:48 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  Just went back and re-read (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          JaxDem

          I should not try to type without my glasses.  Amount was $1,750, not the strange number I posted above.

          The general who wins the battle makes many calculations in his temple before the battle is fought. The general who loses makes but few calculations beforehand. - Sun Tzu

          by Otteray Scribe on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 10:41:16 AM PDT

          [ Parent ]

  •  That "chance" of rain fizzled out again (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem, eeff, boran2, JKTownsend

    yesterday, with another 30% chance coming up Sunday.  The whole State of Indiana is in some stage of drought now.  The grass looks like August grass, all brown and dry.  At least the temperatures are expected to get back to "normal" for this time of year (70's and 80's).

    •  Good Morning, mary! (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      eeff, boran2, JKTownsend

      Hope you get that rain soon.  It's tough when it's so dry.  We tend to get a lot of wildfires when that happens.  We've been fortunate this summer with a good deal of much  needed rain.

      Have a wonderful weekend.

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 04:54:14 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  Good morning! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JKTownsend, JaxDem

    The heat is on again here in the Hudson Valley.  It was just about 90 degrees before 9 o'clock.  Thankfully, it is supposed to be a bit cooler tomorrow, a mere 85 or so.  85 is the new 65, apparently.

    Those secret service guys get all the fun.  

    Stay Democratic, my friends. -The Most Interesting Man in the World

    by boran2 on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 06:21:49 AM PDT

    •  Good Morning (barely), boran! (0+ / 0-)
      85 is the new 65, apparently
                    ...love it!

      Have a great day and I hope it cools down this weekend for ya.

      As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. John F. Kennedy

      by JaxDem on Fri Jun 22, 2012 at 08:28:06 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  starts out funny then gets smarty pants. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JaxDem

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