Over at the conservative bizarro DailyKos website, I stumbled upon a post titled Good advice for Mitt Romney by Mickey Kaus. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
The gist: First off, Mitt needs to be more human and less of a really rich guy who couldn't give a damn whether you live or die.
The words "trying desperately not to appear non-upper class" appear. Nuff said.
Read it for yourself, and don't miss the comments section for some of the facepalmingist cognitive dissonance you will ever witness.
To wit: show the American people that Mitt Romney’s just… a human being, like everybody else. Not that Romney should pretend to anything that he’s not. As Mickey put it:Let's face it, Mitt Romney knows about as much about the struggles of an everyday working class person as I know about dressage horses.
Note that this does not require that Romney show he’s a man of the people, down with NASCAR etc. No pork rinds are required. In fact, trying desperately to appear non-upperclass is likely to reinforce Romney’s more fundamental problem. A simulacrum can eat pork rinds, if you program it properly.Bold text added by the liberal diarist, cognitive dissonance added by the original conservative author.
Be more human, but don't worry about doing things humans do, like interacting with other humans outside of a Fox News controlled environment. The reality is every time Mitt engages with non-millionaires outside of a totally controlled media setting he comes off like Mister Burns from the Simpsons. Dough-nuts? What are these dough-nuts you speak of?
Yes, try not to look like a desperate rich guy trying to screw everyone else who only cares about himself. And what policies does Mitt support? Well, his policies are the same Bush/GOP policies that favor the rich and screw everyone else. So what should Mitt's message be? Nothing. Just say Obama sucks, and it couldn't get worse. In 2008 Obama ran on hope and change, in 2012 Mitt Romney is running on bitch and moan.
On every problem facing Americans who are not rich, the GOP has nothing to offer but more pain. An out of touch rich guy who says anything is the perfect face of the GOP. This is the guy Republicans chose, the best they had, and he has a problem coming off like a human being. And the advice RedState writer Moe Lane is to take a few pointers from George W. Bush, which should be easy since Lil Bush's advisers are all Mitt Romney's advisers now.
But if you want a real laugh, go below the fold and read a few of the comments of your average RedState thinker. If you want to pause before grabbing popcorn and a drink first that's cool, but don't miss teh funny below the fold.
Last night at a neighborhood BBQ, I was talking with a Hispanic friend. She said, “I know I should vote Republican because I’m a business person. And I don’t know anything about politics because I don’t have the time or the desire to keep up with it. But I do know that Romeny is this arrogant rich guy who only cares about rich people and I don’t know how that’s going to be any better for me than Obama is now.”
I was dumbfounded. But she’s the average voter. I brought up to her the story about what Romney did for that guy who’s daughter went missing when he was at Bain. And she replied, “That was one time and that was years ago. What about now?”
Romney’s GOT to fix this stereotype. Because she admittedly didn’t follow politics, and my husband was giving me the “let it go” eye, I didn’t attempt to change her mind. And to be honest, I’m not sure I could say anything substantial to do so. I did say, “Well, we have a known and an unknown. And the known sucks so Romney’s my guy.” But I’m a political junkie and I’ve followed the disaster of the Obama White House. Slamming Obama’s lousy record and spending isn’t enough when you’re trying to make Romney out to be human. I don’t have the ammo for that, so we moved on to other topics. Romney’s team needs to help people like me out so we can share the word to people on the fence like her.
Bold text added by the liberal diarist who laughed so hard he spilled his coffee
Why would any hispanic woman in her right mind vote Republican? Come for the racial resentment, stay for the unequal pay and misogyny?
"Well, I know I hate Obama, but I don't know anything else." That pretty much sums up the modern GOP. Blame all of Bush's failures on Obama, make sure America doesn't recover, vote against Obama even when you used to be for his ideas and piss and moan about how long it is taking to clean up the mess George W. Bush created. And what else does the GOP have to offer other than irrational hatred they saw on Fox and a warmed over rehashing of George W. Bush's policies? Nothing. But what is really funny is watching Republicans call out people for being misinformed. It says to me that the studies are right, Republicans, and specifically Fox viewers and dittoheads, are dumber than low-information voters, they are no-information voters, they know less than nothing. Not knowing anything would be a vast improvement for the Republican base. Republican heads aren't empty, they are crammed with bullshit and lies they heard reinforced on right wing media. WMD's. Death Panels. Fast and Furious. Republicans never gave a shit about gun control until they thought they could destroy a democrat with it, and when the democrats are out of power they will stop giving a shit about gun control , or health care reform, or immigration reform, because they want the opposite of that. They want to help insurance companies rob and kill Americans for a profit, they want to keep Latino workers in a below minimum wage status of cheap labor, women too, hell, all of us, really, and yet Republicans live in another universe than the rest of us, and that is why their out of touch Presidential candidate doesn't come off as human. This is what happens when 30 years of corporate Reagan worshipping nonsense renders a significant segment of the voting population functionally stupid. They can't run on what they really stand for and win. Attacking women makes it hard to win female voters, doesn't it? Attacking Latinos has the same effect. And republicans have no idea why.
Yeah, its' hard connecting with working class people when your policies all hurt the working class to help the rich and your candidate is an out of touch multi-millionaire with a car elevator and dressage horses.
What Grover Norquist, David Koch and the Gazzilionaires funding Romney want is someone how is just smart enough to hold a pen. I've got a feeling that Obama is going to destroy that guy in the debates. Every time Romney tries to come off as anything other than an out of touch bankster he comes off more like an out of touch bankster. This is what happens when you have an out of touch party that has nothing to offer anyone who isn't wealthy, white, christian, homophobic and male, you end up with a Presidential candidate who is out of touch and has nothing to offer anyone who isn't already wealthy, white, christian, homophobic and male. Republicans don't need Romney to be more human, Republicans need to be more human. The harder Republicans try to deny this the more obvious it gets to everybody else.
Total cost of SuperPac funded attack ads for Mitt - Over $1 billion and rising
Watching all that money being spent and Mitt Romney still utterly failing to connect with non-millionaire voters outside of the radical GOP base = priceless
The floor is now yours . . . .
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