For my summer job, I'm going to be working for Democracy and Free Speech!
Who cares about health care, thanks to the conservatives on the Supreme Court, there are plenty of jobs like mine to go around!
I'll be working with lots of neat grownups who are very passionate about having plenty of free speech!
Like, like, Mister Adelson-- who is going to spend one-hundred-million speech units because he loves America so much!
Or the Koch Brothers, who are spending four-hundred million speech units!
I guess the super-rich really are job creators!
([faster aside, not whisper]: As long as your job is creating campaign commercials.)
And, and, I'll be able to get community service credit for school because I'll be working with "Social Welfare Organizations" like Crossroads GPS-- which is headed by the Mother Teresa of Attack Ads, Mister Karl Rove!
We're doing such good, noble social welfare work, our funders want to be kept secret! They're that selfless!
And even though they only have half as much money, I'll also be working with the Obamacrats, whose "Priorities USA" has millions in free speech units-- that aren't connected to the campaign, of course . . .
[now, whisper] except by the campaign manager and top advisers.
Free speech is such a growth industry, it's on track to hit two billion speech units this campaign.
And I've got a summer job because corporations are people and money is free speech and some people have more free speech than others the end!