"but the price we quoted you for lawn care won't go up at all."
...And that's when I told the supervisor at the lawn care company that he just blew the deal. More below the Satanic Orange Orb.
I know It's a sure sign of getting old when I catch myself telling people to get off my lawn, but that's exactly what I did. Well, at least in a sense I did. I had just finished talking to a sales rep from a lawn care company who rang my doorbell yesterday morning. He was offering to fertilize and treat my lawn for grubs for a price lower than what it costs me to buy a bag of that toxic garbage from Home Depot or one of the other places that sell the stuff. I normally do this kind of thing myself-- sparingly. Over the years I always tried to get to the point where I can just do the minimum to have a nice looking yard and garden. That means planting trees to shade the lawn and having bigger gardens and less grass to cut. I've mulched my grass clippings and have grown vegetables in the past I have some small apple and pear trees and have recently killed some blueberry bushes that I tried to nurse back to health.
My house is only 2 1/2 years old, I was fortunate to be able to build it at the height of the recession. I was able to do this because I sold my old house of 10 years that we outgrew to a young expectant couple taking advantage of an $8000 tax credit put into place by President Obama and a Democratic congress. Needless to say I'm very grateful for government stimulus programs. Shortly after the sale of that house, prices tanked everywhere, foreclosures were selling faster than occupied residences. I barely made enough profit on that house to recover what I invested in work and materials over the years and to cover the very affordable down payment for my new FHA loan.
I've used lawn services in the past, but I've always done better on my own. But since this guy was talking about a no commitment deal and a very low price on my almost 1/2 acre lot, I figured I'd give it a try. So I gave him my contact information and the specifics about what treatments I was interested in and off he went.
About 20 minutes later I received a call from the sales rep's boss who wanted to confirm my information for their computer records. Everything was going along routinely until, I guess, the guy started feeling comfortable with me. I wanted to make sure he wasn't signing me up for anything I had not agreed to with the sales dude so I asked him, if I decided to pre-pay for a full year, say in January next year, would the price go up from what they quoted? That's when he decided to make his little joke.
Me: "So, 'xxxx' if I like what you guys have done for my lawn by fall this year after a couple of treatments, will you jack up this price that 'xxxx' gave me today?"
Dude on phone: "Oh no absolutely not! Let me put it to you this way: Even if Obama gets re-elected and gas prices go up to $8 per gallon, we'll still come out to your house for the same price."
Me: "Whoa, wait a minute. Did you just say what I think you said? I know we live out here in the western suburbs, do you make an assumption that it's safe to say that kind of crap to everyone you talk to on the phone? Like everyone you talk to is a Republican? I'm an Obama supporter and a Democrat. I was an elected precinct committeemen for the Democratic party in my old neighborhood. That's where your business is located."
Me: (pissed) "You know what? You just blew it. I'm calling the sales rep that was just out here talking to me (he gave me his cell number) and telling him you just blew his sale because of your stupid political assumptions. I don't want to have anything to do with you guys. Don't come out here and don't bother trying to get my business back. I'll take care of my own lawn."
Dude on the phone: "Ok."
Me. Click.
(Yeah. So stay the hell off of my lawn!)