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Are you suddenly feeling nervous, enraged and excitable?
Are your feelings that others are out to get you increasing exponentially?
Feeling confused and disoriented as to why thirty million additional Americans should be insured?
Then it's time you asked your doctor about "RepubliBliss."
With its powerful combination of conspiracy, libertarianism, and imagination, you'll feel confident and self-assured in no time!
Go ahead. Get back to living your life and doing the things you really enjoy!
RepubliBliss blocks any of your vestigial concern for the poor or uninsured and replaces it with a love of insurance company profits.
RepubliBliss releases a powerful neural attractant, drawing you to like-minded free market thinkers . . .
. . . Who know that if we use enough of RepubliBliss' patented Magical Pixie Dust, insurers and pharmaceutical companies will make everything all right.
And until then, RepubliBliss frees you from painful "facts" with a fast-acting Numerical Truthless Formula!
Because you don't need . . .
Health coverage for your child with a pre-existing condition, reasonable premiums, a lower deficit, and an insurance company that sticks with you when you get sick.
You need . . . RepubliBliss: your patented conservative formula for an imaginary problem that will magically disappear!
[disclaimer] Extensive clinical trials have shown that long term, short term or any term use of RepubliBliss will kill you or those around you.