I am not going to Readercon, and this is why:
I find it practically impossible to listen to people talk intelligently and substantially without being part of the conversation. I live for intelligent and substantial conversation, and there are few chances to have one in daily life. Therefore, I tend to be that guygal at panel discussions. You know, the one who keeps interrupting. I didn't realize I was doing it; until recently I haven't been attended enough panel discussions at conventions to understand the proper customs and dynamics of the situation. I thought panel discussions were conversations.
I can't understand why people want to sit quietly and listen to other people have a discussion. If the panelists are discussing a concept such as "Dystopia as Utopia" (or whatever), the panelists are not "oooh, voices from on high!" to whom to listen raptly in silence. They're just people, and I want to be part of the conversation. On the other hand, if they're discussing a concrete topic on which they're the sole experts, such as "this is how we made this movie," well, I just didn't understand the dynamics of the "Q&A at the end of the talk" because it's a discussion, not a lecture! And, er, I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut at lectures either.
(Speaking of which, I continue my rambling after the squiggle.)
Because I was pretty much raised by wolves, I had a lot to learn about social interaction as I went along. I learned a lot about that at the Boston Occupation. When you're creating a new social paradigm that cannot be sustained without an active social contract, it's vital to interact with people in a more conscious fashion. I had to learn to realize that what I consider "debate" or "conversation," other people consider "argument". I had to learn when to detach, to back off. In the beginning, I had to literally do that -- physically back away from the proceedings, move to the back of the group. There were times that I even literally put the corner of the collar of my shirt in my mouth to remind myself to keep my mouth shut -- just, y'know, chew on it a bit.
(I also learned that some animals are more equal than others. There was a certain person who was allowed to interrupt, to rant, and to completely ignore the rules and customs of how we interacted with each other. There was a serious cult of personality developing -- but that's an entire other rantsubject.)
One time I went to hear someone speak on a subject (which I don't remember; that's how much impression it made on me). When it was done I met up with my partner, he asked me what I thought was the highlight of the talk, what was the biggest thing I learned. I replied, "To keep my mouth shut." He laughed in surprise.
In short (LOL yeah right), Readercon is all panels and lectures all the time, and they're all brilliant people talking about fascinating topics. It's like putting me in a room filled with ALL THE YUMMY COOKIES and telling me I have to watch other people eat them. Can't do it, too much temptation, kthxbye.
So you won't see me at Readercon. It's not because I don't want to attend your panel; it's because I want to attend too much.