Company: Bain Capital LLC (Boston, Massachusetts)
Position: Chief Executive Officer, Owner, Sole Shareholder
Start Date: Immediately, 13 years ago.
Due to the recent retroactive retirement of its then-CEO and owner, Bain Capital LLC, is currently looking to recruit an experienced CEO for day-to-day management during the years 1999-2002. The successful applicant will maintain access to and ability to operate time machine capable of travel to the year 1999.
Please send, via registered mail, your CV and a recent photo of yourself posing with large sums of money (preferred candidate will use flaming cash) to Bain Capital LLC, John Hancock Tower, Boston, Massachusetts.