If you've been paying attention recently, you probably know about Chick-fil-A's little problem with the gays. It has been known for quite some time now that the company has been making anti-gay donations to organizations such as Exodus International. But of course, shit really hit the fan this week when Chick-fil-A COO Dan Cathy had this to say about charges that the company was working to undermine gay civil rights:
Well, guilty as charged.
He added:
I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at Him and say "we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage" and I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.
Wowzers. Tell us how you really feel.
If you're like me, you can't possibly spend money at this restaurant, especially after Cathy's most recent comments. Don't get me wrong. I love Chick-fil-A chicken. I really do. There's no shame in that--they make some damn good chicken. But no more. Can't do it. My boyfriend (a Chick-fil-A lover and former employee) and I talked and reached the same conclusion...a conclusion we obviously should have reached ages ago. It's not even a matter of making a statement or boycotting for me. It's a matter of not being able to spend my money at an establishment that funds anti-gay hate. It's really as simple as that. And it really is a shame, because nothing beats a Chick-fil-A sandwich. They may be haters, but they know how to fry some chicken.
And that is was my problem. Until somebody shared the Chick-fil-Gay recipe with me. So named because it makes you happy (and it's gay-friendly, too). I tried it out, and let me tell you, it's just as good as--if not better than--Chick-fil-A. And best of all, you won't have to make a choice between your appetite and your conscience (unless you're a vegan/vegetarian, in which case this recipe obviously isn't for you). Follow me below the doodle-thingy for a demonstration.
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Please come in. You're invited to make yourself at home! Join us beneath the doodle...
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First of all, gather your ingredients. This is what you'll need:
You'll need one boneless, skinless chicken breast, 1/4 cup pickle juice (and pickles, for the sandwich), one egg, 1/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup flour, one tablespoon powdered sugar, 1/2 teaspoon paprika, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 1/4 teaspoon black pepper, 1/4 teaspoon garlic powder, 1/4 teaspoon celery salt, 1/4 teaspoon dried basil, and 1/2 peanut oil for frying. If you like spicy chicken, you can use 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper, but I won't be doing that.
Now, measure out your pickle juice and put it in a bowl. And try not to make a big freaking mess on the counter like I did.
Set that aside and lay the chicken breast out on a cutting board.
Cover it in saran wrap so you don't get nasty chicken juices all over you.
Now, tenderize it and flatten it out so it's nice and thin. You're going to get two servings out of this, so make it thin enough so that will be possible.
Cut it into two roughly equal-sized pieces.
Then, put them in the bowl of pickle juice.
Let them marinate for 30-60 minutes. This will make them nice and juicy.
While you're waiting for that, mix the flour, powdered sugar, paprika, salt, black pepper, garlic powder, celery salt, and dried basil (and cayenne pepper if you so choose) in a bowl.
This will be your breading.
Then, stir up the milk and the egg in another bowl.
Now, set up a nifty little assembly line, starting with the bowl of marinating chicken, then the bowl of liquid, then the bowl of dry ingredients, then a plate.
After the chicken is done marinating, take out a piece with a fork and send it through the assembly line and set it on the plate.
Do the same with the other piece of chicken.
Now, heat up the peanut oil in a frying pan on medium-high heat.
When it's hot (test it with a bread crumb), throw in the chicken.
It should only take a few minutes for it to get nice and brown on one side. When they're brown, flip them.
After another few minutes, this is what you have:
Mmmmmmmm. Now, warm up a bun and throw a couple of pickles on the bottom bun. You can't eat this without pickles.
Then, assemble your sandwich. And voi la!
Aside from the bun being bigger and the pickles being thicker, it looks no different than a standard Chick-fil-A sandwich.
Finally, take a bite. I guarantee you, it matches or beats Chick-fil-A. Or your money back. And unless you're a bigot, it's made with love for the gay community. Oh, and guess what--you can even eat it on Sunday.
Now, let's all raise our middle fingers at Chick-fil-A and chow down on our Chick-fil-Gay! Next, I just need to learn how to make some waffle fries...
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July 18, 2012
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