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Last night, Jon Stewart looked at why Congress won't pass any financial legislation to help fix the economy, even after former Citigroup CEO Sanford Weill now admits we should have Glass-Steagall back in place.

So the guy who reaped enormous riches by pulling the last Jenga piece out of what was holding up our economy now thinks we shouldn't have done that.  That's OK.  We can do that.  Congress can always reinstate that kind of regulation.  Unless they're a bunch of assholes.  (nervous laughter)  Get ready.
REP. ERIC CANTOR, R-VA (7/24/2012): The purpose of the piece of legislation ... put a moratorium on regulation until the economy bounces back, and unemployment nationally goes below 6%.
So the reform that Sandy Weill thinks could help fix the economy could not be reinstated until, according to this legislation, the economy was fixed.  Here's the worst part.  That's not what makes this whole thing assholian.  Strap in, we're going full rectal.
NEWS REPORT (7/25/2012): They forgot to the put the U-N, the "un", in unemployment.  Democrats pointing out that the latest Republican jobs bill called for a freeze on regulations until employment was at 6%.  That would mean 94% would be out of a job.

A typo!  That's embarrassing!  You know what, though?  A typo's not really assholery.  Doesn't point to a type of endemic dysfunction in our legislature that would make you believe that Congress was either assholes or 5-year-olds.  Very little difference, by the way, between the two.

....

Let's be clear what just happened.  Republicans made a typo, they asked the Democrats if they would mind if they went back to correct it, and the Democrats said, "yeah, fuck that".

(blows kiss to the sky)

Full Metal Assholes!  Don't you guys have anything better to do in Congress?

JON SCOTT (7/25/2012): A bill that would make English the official language of the United States.
I'm gonna put you down for "no".
Video and full transcript below the fold.

Kim Jong-un's not the only d-bag out there, which is why you should watch my brand new segment:

It is what it is.  Look, let's get to it.  First up, business leader Sanford Weill, the former CEO of Citigroup, went on TV yesterday and said this.

SANFORD WEILL (7/25/2012): I think what we should probably do is go and split up investment banking from banking, have banks be deposit takers, have banks make commercial loans and real estate loans, have banks do something that's not going to risk the taxpayer dollars, that's not gonna be too big to fail.
I'm sorry, you know what, that guy didn't sound like an asshole at all.  He's basically saying we should just return to the days of the Glass-Steagall Act, which separated commercial and investment banking all the way up to, I think, until it was repealed in 1999, which set in motion the entire financial debacle of the decade to follow.  How'd it get repealed, anyway?  Perhaps the memoirs of one Sanford Weill can give us a clue.
SANFORD WEILL AUTOBIOGRAPHY: We had been lobbying Congress intensively for months to overturn the Depression-era Glass-Steagall Act.

(Jon spits out rice)

Oh right!  It was you!!  Look, it'd be one thing if Sandy Weill were saying, "hey, we never should have repealed that law", but it's not what he's saying.

SANFORD WEILL (7/25/2012): I think the world changes, and the world that we live in now is different than the world that we lived in ten years ago.
"I mean, for instance, now we have smart phones.  The kids from the Harry Potter films are all grown up.  And there is a smoldering rubble where our financial system used to exist."

That's OK.  So the guy who reaped enormous riches by pulling the last Jenga piece out of what was holding up our economy now thinks we shouldn't have done that.  That's OK.  We can do that.  Congress can always reinstate that kind of regulation.  Unless they're a bunch of assholes.  (nervous laughter)  Get ready.

REP. ERIC CANTOR, R-VA (7/24/2012): The purpose of the piece of legislation ... put a moratorium on regulation until the economy bounces back, and unemployment nationally goes below 6%.
So the reform that Sandy Weill thinks could help fix the economy could not be reinstated until, according to this legislation, the economy was fixed.  Here's the worst part.  That's not what makes this whole thing assholian.  Strap in, we're going full rectal.
NEWS REPORT (7/25/2012): They forgot to the put the U-N, the "un", in unemployment.  Democrats pointing out that the latest Republican jobs bill called for a freeze on regulations until employment was at 6%.  That would mean 94% would be out of a job.

A typo!  That's embarrassing!  You know what, though?  A typo's not really assholery.  Doesn't point to a type of endemic dysfunction in our legislature that would make you believe that Congress was either assholes or 5-year-olds.  Very little difference, by the way, between the two.

7/25/2012:

REP. DARRELL ISSA, R-CA: I would ask the gentleman from Virginia if he would be willing, or let me rephrase that, if he would not object to a unanimous consent in the House to make a correction in what was clearly a typographical error.

REP. GERRY CONNOLLY, D-VA: Madam Chairman, this member will reserve the right to object at the appropriate time.

Let's be clear what just happened.  Republicans made a typo, they asked the Democrats if they would mind if they went back to correct it, and the Democrats said, "yeah, fuck that".

(blows kiss to the sky)

Full Metal Assholes!  Don't you guys have anything better to do in Congress?

JON SCOTT (7/25/2012): A bill that would make English the official language of the United States.
I'm gonna put you down for "no".
REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (7/25/2012): I have seen, and many in this country have seen, citizenship oaths taken in foreign languages.  I've given speeches at naturalization ceremonies.  I like to go there, I like to welcome new Americans.  But I can notice if I tell a joke who laughs and who doesn't.  Those that don't understand English don't laugh at those jokes.
(surprised audience laughter)

Oh listen, I can understand that.  I have a tremendous amount of sympathy.  I've always tried to enhance audience response to my jokes... through legislation.

We'll be right back.

Jon also informed the ladies that North Korea's Kim Jong-un is married.  Then Sam Bee filed a report about the Catholic Church's crusade against American nuns.
After looking at some Olympics news, he covered Mitt Romney's first gaffe in London, disparaging them over their handling of the Olympics.
He then had a hilarious segment looking at Chick-Fil-A's anti-gay stance, and all the ensuing madness, from the Muppets leaving them, to the fake Facebook profile they set up to defend themselves, to people like Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum coming to Chick-Fil-A's defense as well.
Jon talked with Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis, but they turned the tables on him, which ushered out a special guest, while Stephen talked with British ambassador to the U.S., Sir Peter Westmacott.  The Daily Show also put up the campaign ads for Cam Brady and Marty Huggins in that hotly contested North Carolina House race.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Jul 27, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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