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Last night, Jon Stewart looked at all the bigots that came out on Wednesday to eat at Chick-Fil-A in support of their homophobic CEO Dan Cathy, and mocked both sides for their protest methods.

CNN (8/2/1012): Crowds flocked to Chick-Fil-A restaurants around the nation for Appreciation Day. ... It was all to show support for the company after its president said he is against same-sex marriage.
Oh, right.  And what better way to stand up and say, "I oppose gay people's right to get married", than to head down to a Chick-Fil-A, grab a hold of two buttery buns, split 'em open and gobble down some of that hot greasy cock?  (wild audience applause)

Mm-mmm, you're just diving into that, you're just eating that cock.  Mmmmmm!  Special sauce all over your face!  You don't want to swallow, but ya gots to!  It's such good cock!  Hey man, can I get a bag of cocks to take back to the office?  God, I love chicken sandwiches!  Got one in each hand, you're eating the other one, nom nom nom nom nom nom!  It just feels so good to be politically active.

....

So basically so far, we got ourselves a pretty typical culture war skirmish.  Doesn't seem enough to warrant a million mouth march.  Until:

MICHAEL ERIC DYSON (7/26/2012): Boston mayor Thomas Menino is promising to block Chick-Fil-A from opening a store in Boston.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN (7/28/2012): The mayor, Rahm Emanuel, who threatens he's not going to allow Chick-Fil-A in Chicago.

CAROL COSTELLO (7/27/2012): And now San Francisco is telling Chick-Fil-A it is not welcome.

Oh boy.  (facepalm)  See how the right's always complaining about the "government persecuting them" for their beliefs, mistaking not being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, for censorship?  Ahh, well, in this case, I'm pretty sure they got something.  Pretty sure you can't outlaw a company with perfectly legal business practices, because you find their CEO's views repellent.  Not sure which amendment covers that, but it's probably in the top ONE.

I think maybe the mayors hadn't thought this thing through.

7/26/2012:

THOMAS MENINO: I don't want an individual who'll continue to advocate against people's rights.  And that's who I am, and that's what Boston is all about.

RAHM EMANUEL: Chick-Fil-A's values are not Chicago values.

Oh really?  Is being against gay marriage your standard of values?  Because I'm pretty sure there's already another franchise-based anti-gay organization with branches throughout your cities you more than likely embrace.

There it is!  That's the one!  Over one billion served, albeit in very small portions.  Not that the Chick-Fil-A-tors themselves -- (audience laughter) Is that, is the "T" silent? -- did not have their own issues with overreach.

MIKE HUCKABEE (8/1/2012): This is a big day, not for Chick-Fil-A, but for America, and for people who believe that the First Amendment applies to everybody, including Christians.
You go, Christians!  And don't you stop until there's a church in every town in America!  I....  (listens to earpiece)  Oh really?  Well, how about every block?  Really?  Oh well.

....

And for people who are gay, or support gay marriage, I get how seeing thousands of people come out to make this statement is incredibly disheartening.  But take solace in this.  Gay marriage is happening.  Like many drive-thru window lanes, it ain't going backwards.  And your bonus is this.  You get gay marriage, and all your political opponents are going to get is Type II diabetes.  (wild audience applause)

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Did you, by any chance, go out to lunch yesterday?  Maybe you were forging around for a little fast food?  And while you were out looking for lunch, did you notice anything peculiar?
8/2/2012:

JONATHAN CAPEHART: Hundreds of thousands of people flocked to Chick-fil0-A restaurants nationwide yesterday.

STEVE DOOCY: Thousands, perhaps, we haven't heard the figures yet, maybe millions of people lined up like that.

FOX BUSINESS: The crowds were so big at some locations that many restaurants actually ran out of chicken.

OH MY GOD!!!  We're out of chicken!  The nightmare scenario that the Mayans prophecied!  America is out of chicken!  It's the cluck-pocalypse!

So what happened?  What drove hundreds of thousands of millions of billions of Americans to cry out as one organism, "I feel like a chicken sandwich"?

CNN (8/2/1012): Crowds flocked to Chick-Fil-A restaurants around the nation for Appreciation Day. ... It was all to show support for the company after its president said he is against same-sex marriage.
Oh, right.  And what better way to stand up and say, "I oppose gay people's right to get married", than to head down to a Chick-Fil-A, grab a hold of two buttery buns, split 'em open and gobble down some of that hot greasy cock?  (wild audience applause)

Mm-mmm, you're just diving into that, you're just eating that cock.  Mmmmmm!  Special sauce all over your face!  You don't want to swallow, but ya gots to!  It's such good cock!  Hey man, can I get a bag of cocks to take back to the office?  God, I love chicken sandwiches!  Got one in each hand, you're eating the other one, nom nom nom nom nom nom!  It just feels so good to be politically active.

It's a protest baby, yeah!  ♫ Something's happenin' here.  Finally!  A form of activism Americans can fully embrace, effecting social change through the act of eating a fast food sandwich.  Said Gandhi, "Fuck me, I had it backwards!"  (wild audience applause)  "Oh man, hunger strike?  I should've turned that on its head!"

Now you may wonder, how did we get here?  It all started two weeks ago when people got wind of the Chick-Fil-A CEO's feelings about gay marriage.

DAN CATHY (7/26/2012): I think we are inviting God's judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say, you know, "We know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage."  And I pray God's mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we would have the audacity to try to redefine what marriage is all about.
Of course, it's perfectly OK to have the audacity to re-engineer God's chicken design to make them 95% breast meat, and then drop a couple of strips of bacon and cheese on top of those bad boys, cuz you can't take everything in Leviticus like it's the word of God.  But all right, still, this man is a private citizen.  He's a private citizen!  He's a private citizen, it's a private business, he's got every right to his opinions.  Just like other private citizens have a right to theirs.
JACKSON PEARCE (7/27/2012): To toss the word Biblical out there like it's a PR decision and a feel-good way of saying you're homophobic without risking your business, not only cheapens your Bible, but in my opinion, disrespects your God.

LAURA KANTER (7/26/2012): Those kinds of messages and that kind of rhetoric is very, very hurtful.

THOMAS ROBERTS, MSNBC (7/27/2012): If you like marriage equality and you're for marriage equality, and you go there that day, you're a chicken-eating Judas.

(shocked audience reaction)

Is there really any other kind of Judas?  Let me present to you my one-man play.  I give you, "The Last Supper".

"One of you... hold on... one of you will betray me!"


Play didn't really go anywhere after that.

So basically so far, we got ourselves a pretty typical culture war skirmish.  Doesn't seem enough to warrant a million mouth march.  Until:

MICHAEL ERIC DYSON (7/26/2012): Boston mayor Thomas Menino is promising to block Chick-Fil-A from opening a store in Boston.

UNIDENTIFIED MAN (7/28/2012): The mayor, Rahm Emanuel, who threatens he's not going to allow Chick-Fil-A in Chicago.

CAROL COSTELLO (7/27/2012): And now San Francisco is telling Chick-Fil-A it is not welcome.

Oh boy.  (facepalm)  See how the right's always complaining about the "government persecuting them" for their beliefs, mistaking not being able to do whatever they want, whenever they want, for censorship?  Ahh, well, in this case, I'm pretty sure they got something.  Pretty sure you can't outlaw a company with perfectly legal business practices, because you find their CEO's views repellent.  Not sure which amendment covers that, but it's probably in the top ONE.

I think maybe the mayors hadn't thought this thing through.

7/26/2012:

THOMAS MENINO: I don't want an individual who'll continue to advocate against people's rights.  And that's who I am, and that's what Boston is all about.

RAHM EMANUEL: Chick-Fil-A's values are not Chicago values.

Oh really?  Is being against gay marriage your standard of values?  Because I'm pretty sure there's already another franchise-based anti-gay organization with branches throughout your cities you more than likely embrace.

There it is!  That's the one!  Over one billion served, albeit in very small portions.  Not that the Chick-Fil-A-tors themselves -- (audience laughter) Is that, is the "T" silent? -- did not have their own issues with overreach.

MIKE HUCKABEE (8/1/2012): This is a big day, not for Chick-Fil-A, but for America, and for people who believe that the First Amendment applies to everybody, including Christians.
You go, Christians!  And don't you stop until there's a church in every town in America!  I....  (listens to earpiece)  Oh really?  Well, how about every block?  Really?  Oh well.

Look, I have no idea what actually drove people to the Chick-Fil-A's yesterday.  Supporting the First Amendment?  Great.  A statement about how you're tired of getting pushed around by the gay agenda?  Lame.  You really like chicken sandwiches, and had no idea that yesterday was Litmus Test Lunch Day.

All I know is this.  If the massive culture war armageddon we've been dreading for years takes the form of record one-day chicken sandwich sales, maybe everybody walks away from this a winner.  The right has finally got themselves a legitimate First Amendment gripe, and as a bonus, a fried meat sandwich-based protest that can also be seen as a little bit of a "fuck you" to a certain someone's healthy eating initiative.

And for people who are gay, or support gay marriage, I get how seeing thousands of people come out to make this statement is incredibly disheartening.  But take solace in this.  Gay marriage is happening.  Like many drive-thru window lanes, it ain't going backwards.  And your bonus is this.  You get gay marriage, and all your political opponents are going to get is Type II diabetes.  (wild audience applause)

So here's my prediction.  "Oh, I'm the amazing Carnac."  Here's my prediction.  In ten years, America will have a lot more gay marriage, and a lot more Chick-Fil-A restaurants.  Because they are both quality products.  We'll be right back.

Jon then looked at the problem of spoiler alerts for those people who don't want to know what happened in the Olympics until they see it on primetime, but who still decide to watch the news.
Meanwhile, after updating the crowd about Mitt Romney's horse Rafalca at the Olympics, Stephen presented the return of his Better Know a District series!  First up, Rep. Russ Carnahan (D-MO).
He then had another Thought for Food segment about how scientists now say vegetables can actually talk to each other!

Jon then talked with actress Jessica Biel, and Stephen talked with MSNBC's Chris Hayes.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 05:00 AM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

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Comment Preferences

  •  thanks! i wonder if jon missed the point about (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    jayden, TexDem, BruinKid, Sychotic1

    equal law regarding hiring practices.
    i think i heard on chris matthew's that
    CFA's ceo said that he wouldn't unequivocally hire a gay person.  i think that's what set it off.  correct me if i'm wrong.
    when a ceo doesn't follow the law re:  hiring, then that's an issue. that's not negotiable.  that's a law.

    but, let's go back to freedom of speech.  jcpenney had an issue with the millionmoms and ellen de g.  
    so we know it's not freedom of speech that these folks were protesting, since all these folks weren't out there stuffing their piehole-shopping bags with clothing for jcp....

    "kiss my ass. don't you know this is a holy site?"

    by stagemom on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 05:19:16 AM PDT

    •  This is the $64K question. (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      TexDem, stagemom, BruinKid, allergywoman

      Given their contribution to anti-gay organizations what is their position on franchisee applicants who are gay?  I think the CFA CEO said "it depends on the situation" or something like that.  I hope someone has the complete quote.

      •  Their application for their "Operators" is 32 page (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        stagemom, BruinKid

        Cock-fil-A doesn't have franchises. They have "Operator". As an "Operator" you can be removed from your store by the Corporate office for all manner of things, including operating another business that has nothing to do with the food service industry. That's exactly what happened to my brother. He opened a RV business and they stripped him of his store because he "didn't spend enough hours in his store". When was the last time a McDonald's franchisee was stripped of their franchise for not putting enough time working in their stores?

    •  Agreed (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      stagemom, BruinKid
      let's go back to freedom of speech.  jcpenney had an issue with the millionmoms and ellen de g.  
      so we know it's not freedom of speech that these folks were protesting, since all these folks weren't out there stuffing their piehole-shopping bags with clothing for jcp...
  •  Cock-fil-A (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    dwayne, jayden, stagemom, BruinKid

    After Jon's bit last night I will always hear it as Cock-fil-A. How's that for branding?

    •  I feel like they've now re-branded themselves (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      TexDem, BruinKid

      as the Fox News of Fast Food.  If you can't even eat a damned fast food sandwich without wingnut politics dictating which damn one, I don't want to be around you.  One more reason to abandon Chick-Fil-A.  I actually marked the day by having a chicken sandwich from KFC.

      ...being a bully was normal, average, status quo behavior for him. And no one remembers an average day.--kos

      by dwayne on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 06:05:32 AM PDT

      [ Parent ]

  •  A TDS fail. Still funny, but wrong. (5+ / 0-)

    Blustery language doesn't equal action. No one had their "free speech" rights prohibited because a couple of mayors spoke off-the-cuff and made empty threats that were almost immediately walked back. Stewart is wrong, the RW does NOT have a legitimate first amendment gripe. It's just another manufactured controversy where they seize an opportunity to continue milking their endless claims of being victims of mean liberals. And Stewart may call it lame but their Chick-fil-a "day of support hate" was just another obvious excuse to openly wallow in their anti-gay hatred and bigotry. The difference is that this time instead of hiding behind "religious values" they hid behind "free speech" claims. But the problem is, no one had their free speech denied, least of all Chick-fil-a and it's chief bigot Dan Cathy who started this entire brouhaha because he exercised his right to free speech.


    Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot • Mumford & Sons

    by jayden on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 06:06:25 AM PDT

    •  Comparable to their 2nd Amendment claims (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      stagemom, jayden, BruinKid

      Reality doesn't matter.

    •  Stewart's point wasn't about the mayor's (0+ / 0-)

      complaints--but on the actual threats to block the chain based on their beliefs.  If the restaurants were to be blocked on those grounds, that is a 1st amendment issue.  

      The hiring practices question is a legitimate one--but that is a separate issue and it doesn't seem to be what shaped the mayors' initial reactions.  Have there been any discrimination suits filed against the chain?

      •  "If" (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        allergywoman

        As I said, they were off-the-cuff heat of the moment remarks. There just isn't any "there" there once the comments are almost immediately walked back. Instead, we get Mike Huckabee seizing an opportunity to further his hateful agenda and demonize liberals and gays. His Chick-fil-a hatefest was nothing more than a propaganda stunt.

        You can't run around claiming your first amendment rights were violated when they never were. A loud blustery speech with no action to back it up doesn't qualify as having your rights denied. The entire Huckabee charade was nothing more than an excuse to continue religious bigotry against the LGBT community.

        No wonder liberals have such a difficult time gaining the upper hand if so many of us are so easily duped by RWNJ talking points and scare tactics.


        Not this mind and not this heart, I won't rot • Mumford & Sons

        by jayden on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 09:18:32 AM PDT

        [ Parent ]

        •  actually I wasn't personally duped by anything... (0+ / 0-)

          second I heard Menino's comments my first thought was 'yeah--this won't last very long'.  I haven't heard Huckabee's comments, aside from what was on the Daily Show.

    •  Doesn't show the real objection, either, which is (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      jayden

      to CFA's donations to groups that support murdering gay people and denying them basic civil rights. Look, if this moron was just spouting off and not supporting the Kill Off Gay People in Uganda campaign, I'd have said, "Oh, FFS" and turned off from the nontroversy myself. But he actively uses the $$ he makes from their crappy food to try to kill gay people.

      And I'd think that Stewart should at least be against that.

  •  Last night was the hardest I laughed in awhile (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BruinKid

    the fellating comment got me the most, I forgot most of what transpired after cause I was laughing so hard.

    --Enlighten the people, generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like spirits at the dawn of day. - Thomas Jefferson--

    by idbecrazyif on Fri Aug 03, 2012 at 07:28:15 AM PDT

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