As mahhvelous as Mitt thinks it would be if the issue of his taxes would just go away, it doesn't look like that's going to happen. The public is overwhelmingly on the side of more disclosure.
At some point, Rmoney may realize that his goose is cooked unless he releases those tax returns. So, in a desperate Hail Mary, he might just do it.
The fun comes in speculating on what the Mittster might say to accompany the release. How would he try to spin it to save his candidacy?
My guess is below. Put yours in the comments.
Fake Statement by Mitt Romney on the Release of His Tax Returns
My Fellow Americans:
I am today releasing copies of my tax returns for the last 12 years, just like my dad did. (under his breath: "Thanks a lot, Dad.")
Now, I know what you're going to say: "It's just not right that a successful businessman like me should have paid such a tiny tax rate year after year." But trust me, it's not what you think.
See, I wanted to pay my fair share of taxes. I told my accountants "I'm running for President for Pete's sake; I can't have a tax rate of under, say, 13 percent." But you know what? they didn't listen to me! You know those darn lawyers and accountants: they never saw a deduction they didn't like. They're the ones who made me put all those millions in the Cayman Islands and Switzerland and who knows where else. It's true--pinky swear.
And of course, I was way too busy doing important stuff like firing people and bleeding companies dry to actually read the returns I signed under penalty of perjury. I mean, show me one rich asshole--er, successful businessperson--who actually reads their tax returns. Come on, I dare you. It's just not done when you're at my level.
Anyway, this is all a big misunderstanding. So here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to retroactively change my tax returns and pay more! Yes, it's just that simple. In fact, I started my accountants working on this months ago, when all this nonsense first came to light. I hear they're almost done now, and by next week, I'll be paying just as much tax as all of you little people--er, hardworking Americans.
So no problem, right? NOW will you vote for me? Obama. Foreigner. Apologizer. Socialist.